So sick and tired of all the needless needing

Just random before i concussed and start rattling like my previous post, with no real meaning towards the end of it.

The past 3 days were rather funny and odd. I don't know how to go about describing it, maybe it's due to the rank i'm wearing, maybe it's due to the stress i'm facing recently, maybe it's due to the fact that my posting changed last minute, or just maybe i'm real sick and tired of all the needless needing.

Taking public transport for the past mornings seemed to add another perspective of life for me. Donning my no. 4, boarding the almost empty train and looking over the black bar over my shoulders, i asked myself why didn't i choose to take public transport during my cadet days. The only rationale i could justify the needless spending on cab fares, was that i just wanted to get home real fast and don't wish to be caught in a can of sardines.

You gain something and you will lose something. How true can it get. Still keeping the bad old habit of not sleeping in public transport, which seems hard to die, my thoughts start to run free and wild again. A mini debate started off inside me. As i reflected and pondered about the facts of life, i start to see myself smaller. For once i'm starting to realise why and how things happened in a certain way. Like it or not, it often happens in a vicious circle.

So much for all the things i dreaded happening to me, i'm making them occurring on others. So much for preaching stuff to others, i'm opposing them myself. So much for not wanting to make my life so monotone, i'm encouraging myself to it. So much so for trying to be more optimistic, day in day out, i'm turning to the dark side.

I don't know how long or far i would go, before i finally succumb and lose all the things that i've been trying to hold dear to.

So why do we tend to hold on to something so dearly and maybe die for it? So why are we are split up to different role-players, each there to outwit, outlast and outkill one another? And so why do we seek physical and mental desires every now and then?

Maybe it would take a rocket scientist to come out with some formulas to explain why. Answers i have not. Nonetheless, i just wonder since we all come down to this earth with our birthday suit, and leave literally the same, why is there a need to seek for all the intangible stuff. In the process we are destroying mankind, destroying nature, wasting resources and wasting time away.

Living life to the fullest was the closest i could get.

For that i suppose to love, to live and to enjoy took majority of our time. So if you don't for any of that, you're wasted. No one will be there to pinpoint or arrow you for not doing the correct way, nor will there be anyone to guide you through your life journey. Yet often we are running towards the white light, which we all have pinned our hopes on, hoping it will eventually leads us to the glory of life.

Take some time off, sit down and start looking around you. Things have changed. But how much of it have you noticed. Ever notice the increasing strands of white hairs, on your parents? Ever wonder for every mad rush across the road, someone else is praying for your safety? Ever wonder for every happy moments you had with your love one, it's building upon someone else's sorrows? Ever cross your mind for every help you asked for, you're depriving someone's time and effort? Ever notice that you have already gone through 3,500 characters, by the end of this sentence?

Details in life is often missed out cause it doesn't pose concerns or benefits to us. Of cause i'm sure many out there can't wait to oppose my thinking for being too critical. As a matter of fact, everyone does it. Else one wouldn't have been thinking and talking to oneself silently during baths, during the usual walk down to the train or bus stations, and even during the time we empty our intestines.

To keep this sweet and short, i guess i'll end of here. Food for thought maybe. Till then.

"You're just another star that's burnt out too quickly."