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Once again, back after god-knows-how many weeks. No idea how i'm going to go about with this post, for a start, i just want to comment that this coming August will be big 5 years old for this blog. Think i changed the skins for about 4-5 times throughout this period, the name of this blog remains the same, with the writer pretty much the same too, always posting nothing but sad posts. This is by-the-way post #290.

As usual some recent updates and then hopefully some wild thoughts along the way, and without realising i guess i'll just drift off what i intented to write and end abruptly. Hope this post is long enough to entertain you guys who are still faithfully looking at my blog after so long.

For starters, i just submitted one of my major project for this semester. Spent quite some time on it, of cause with some help, else i think i'll be looking at just borderline grades for it. Anyway, it's been years since i did up a programming assignment. The most unforgetable part about programming back in my polytechnic days, has to be the continuous back-to-back staying back in school computer lab, till 10pm when it closes. And i will start pretty early to ensure i get it done. Those days, the assignments were group work, and i must say it's alot easier compare to now. Now's tougher and it's individual. Of course right? If not NUS might just be NYP instead.

Anyway, back to the programming part, i think i've pretty much lost all the touch i have with it. I'm like who i was back in semester 1 of poly, where i need to spend time figuring out where's my error and what does each method does and how it work. The assignment for my current semester is on java beans, java language, but the beans are the one that makes you want to avoid eating them during proper meals.

I still have one last group project left, my financial accounting module. Kinda dreading it, for it's an essay form of project report where we have to answer 11 accounting questions with regards to Creative Technology report. Can't wait to get it off my back and dive into the most hated examinations. 3 weeks more to exams, and what i can think of to summarize this semester is simply, "Busy with everything else except schoolwork, learnt nothing except being silly."

I'm stuck with words once again. Hate to do this, but i guess i'll be ending this post soon. Been suffering from giddiness and headaches lately. Despite sleeping more last few days, it doesn't seems to get any better.

Just one last thing before i end this. I've been thinking about this lately, and probably i have already done so back in the past, and that's why does A gets alot better treatment, alot better life, alot better stuff and in many aspects, as compared to B. Take it as A is borned with a silver spoon for or A is the lucky star or what-so-ever names/titles one can think of, my point is that does it mean that B is just direct opposite or that he deserves to be like that? Maybe like what some would suggest, we need a bad guy to know what kind of guy is good guy. We need someone ugly to define pretty, we need someone rich to define the poor, we need someone stupid to define someone smart, the list just goes on and on.

And so many may also suggest that the fate of B lies entirely on his own hands. A just happen to have a better headstart but that doesn't mean B has no chance of overtaking A in all the aspects if he work hard and don't grumble like me? If you're one who thinks like this, congratulations, you belong to those kind who sees a half-filled instead of a half-empty glass of water.

Judging the way i put this, i must have belong to the more pessimistic kind. No doubt about it. Since i was young, small, naive or what-so-ever you wanna call it, i always thought that being honest, being hardworking, doing all the right things, doing all the mummy-said-so commands will at least give me a better life in future. Not entirely doing all the good things for the sake of doing, but doing all the correct right things which i can answer to not just myself but everyone. More like a peace maker?

But yeah, bet you would have easily guessed it, things didn't always turn out so nice. I have to admit i have done things in the past 22 years which are deemed as sins, crimes, or whatever you like to call it. How severe they are or how bad they are, i guess they ain't really that important. The thing i would like to question is the cause and effect of it. Does A ever not do anything bad? One can easily argue that everyone surely have done something bad or evil in a way or another.

So why am i driving at or what am i trying to prove?

Nothing much actually. I just like to question the reality of life. How we live to envy others, live to yearn for things, live with regrets and live for the sake of living. The lifespan of humans are spend searching for that unknown, may it be education, career, love, happiness, living it to the fullest, utimately i guess we are never really given a fair competition level in the process of doing so. Like it or not, life is too short for us to think too much. Yes i always do that, and for this i got no one but myself to appreciate my own thoughts. I yearn for another me, an exact clone. Good or bad, at least i can see myself better.

Till then.