Dumb and dumber

Finally the 3 weeks are over and after 461 hours in SAFTI OCS, i was released at 1400hrs yesterday. And the most irritating thing was that i had to wait for almost 45 mins before i managed to flag down an empty cab back home. Time now 1425hrs, 3 hours later i'll have to head back to camp again. How no life can it get.

Life in OCS can be interesting yet stupid. Interesting being that as an Officer-to-be, one has to learn to take up responsibilities. Initiative has to be display most of the time. There won't be so much spoon-feeding and that one has to admit his mistake and be prepared to be punish for it. Having weekend extra duties or confinements is something an Officer Cadet has to be mentally prepared for. And for this, that's where the stupid part comes into play.

For my current 63/06 batch, majority of them are '87 JC students. 2 years my junior and of course smarter than me in many ways. Many said that JC students tend to be very vocal and likes to challenge orders or instructions. Well, to a certain extend it's quite true. But nonetheless, whether or not they are really are a bunch of hard to handle cadets, the good thing is that they tend to draw away much of the attention to them, which is a good thing for poly students like me.

Trainings are pretty hectic for the past 3 weeks, especially with lectures and PT exercises all sardine-packed in the daily program. There are also tonnes of endurance runnings, easily 4-8km per run. Heard it's going to increase gradually to 21km in time to come. And of course as the trainings goes, the tough gets tougher too.

Had a late sleep this morning around 4am, and i woke up pretty early around 11am with tonnes of thoughts in mind. Not to mention i wasted $23 for skipping my bike lesson.

Just as i start backtracking all the highlights i had for the past 1 year, i start to see myself not so myself now. Like what my title suggested, i felt dumber as i go along. Not so much on the intellectual side, it's more conceptual wise. The constant questioning of what am i doing right now, will always be reminding me that i need to get something done or at least have a clear state of mind what i'm doing.

Last night i was trying hard to glaze up the sky searching for the orange glowing star which will be pointing towards the North, a familiar sight back in Australia. But the sky was pretty cloudy i suppose, and i could barely see any stars hanging around. With my failing memory, i can't recall what's the name for the stars formation now.

As i'm trying hard to type this post out, i realised i'm short of words to continue. The distant feeling seems to be overwhelming. For now, i shall end with a quote i came across:

"Effort and courage are not enough without purpose and direction."

-Edited-
Managed to catch some winks and had to drag myself out of bed to pack my stuff and prepare myself to book in soon. Time now 1730hrs. Time is really not on my side and this is what i will have to learn to adapt for the upcoming 8 months. Appetite was poor for the whole day. Didn't finish up my lunch and i only ate some mouthful noodles moments ago.

Shall look forward to this Thursday night book out and enjoy a slightly longer weekend. Other than that, i felt stoned.
-Edited-