I'm better off my own
Recalling few weeks back, i asked a friend of mine if she knows what's the difference between happy and sadness. Eventually i was able to come out with around 5-6 points. Can't actually remember all the points i mentioned that time, but there's one particular one i managed to come out with: "Happy comes with much difficulties, stays on for split seconds while sadness come and go easily yet stays with you from days to weeks."
Often i wonder and asked myself, am i that sad and is it that all things are going against me. Seriously i must say, things aren't that bad. At least i'm fit and able, i have a family, a home and is able to enjoy most of the stuff one possibly could think of. So what exactly is my problem? Perhaps instead of always complaining and whining, i'll jot down some issues and you shall be my judge.
"Damn fucker. i wud help u. Fuck. U dun disturb me."
"U go find other pple 2 be ur guanrantor. We wudnt help u. Fuck off"
The above 2 messages are sent to me via sms by my sister. And sister here i meant my own biological, blood-related sister. So what did i do to deserve these 2 "heartwarming" messages? It wasn't a complicated story, so i'll just briefly go through here.
What happened was that my sister wanted to come back for dinner, but end up suggesting to dine out at AMK central instead. I wasn't really into the idea as i felt tired and preferred to have dinner at home. Remember that i mentioned in my previous post that for my pilot vocation i need 2 guarantors for my contract? I approached my sister back then for help. So she threatened that if i decline to go out for dinner, she won't help me with it anymore. After that, she got pissed and decided not to even come back for dinner. And there you go, the above 2 sms was then sent to me.
I'm not trying to make her look stupid or anything by stating all these here. What i typed here may also seem sarcastic and bias due to the fact it's only my point of view. Nonetheless, you be my judge.
Life in army has been getting rather monotonous lately. 2 more weeks left before passing out from BMT, and most of the main highlights had been completed. 3 notable events that happened last week were BAC, peer appraisal and IPPT Diagnostic.
Battle Assault Course(BAC), the course every man has to go through to be consider a real soldier. Well, at least that's what they said. Basically, we have to warcry loud through a 80m course, applying the Basic Close Combat skills by kicking and stabbing using rifle at the dummy enemies, baby-crawl, leopard-crawl and back-crawl on mud. At the end of it, you will be totally drenched in mud and stink like cow-dung. The worst smell you can ever get, and we called it "Tekong-Cologne". Less than 5 minutes for completing the course, more than 50 minutes of cleaning up yourself and the equipments.
Peer appraisal was done last Wednesday whereby we have to rank the rest of the 48 recruits in the platoon in ascending order based on 3 factors: "Friends", "Success" and "Stress". "Friends" meaning those you wish to be friends with, basically meaning those you felt comfortable talking to and such, high chance those who are your bunk mates. "Success" referring to those who you felt can be a successful commander who is able to lead and take responsibilities. "Stress" refers to those who is able to take stress, and work without much difficulties. Something to be happy about was that i received quite a number of high ranking by my platoon mates.
IPPT Diagnostic was done yesterday after it was void on Thursday due to bad weather whereby we managed to complete all the static stations but took too long and wasn't able to start our 2.4km run in time. I managed to book out yesterday evening after obtaining Silver for my IPPT as promised by our OC. Same goes to those who pass the IPPT, they get to book out after we had our dinner.
For the past few days, i'm into serious thinking about whether i should continue to pin my hopes of getting into the pilot vocation. My medical is still undergoing, with reviews to follow up. Till now, i still have no idea what should i do, hoping someone was there to guide me.
I stared at my blogger screen for around 15 minutes before i start typing this post and this post took me 2 hours plus. Pausing and thinking every now and then what to type, but somehow, just somehow, my mind is in a blank even though i know i have alot to say. Nevertheless, i've changed a new song, again the lyrics captivated me and i guess..
I'm better off my own!.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Last 3 weeks
Today marks the last 3 weeks of my time over at Tekong. Most of the crucial events have been done. Last 2 events left now; IPPT and SOC. Probably SOC isn't the main issue of concern due to the low 5% passing rate, based on history.
Short weekend break for me this week due to my SIT Test, which ended on Sat, and only managed to book out at 730pm. Not a bad thing afterall, at least i don't have to vex about what to do over the weekends. Too much time for me now, isn't a good thing. All my stupid emo will start coming out again.
Just on the day of my SIT Test, i was appointed platoon IC. Something i wasn't expecting to, yet it's something one have be at least once, to have a feel of how it's like to be a leader, whereby you have to control your men. On the downside of it, you are responsible for the whole platoon and you get tonnes of extra work. Just imagine booking out without bathing when most of the platoon did.
During my SIT test, the accessor for my detail who is an Officer, after knowing that i'm waiting for my pending medical test for the pilot vocation, asked me the same killer question again. Why do i want to be a pilot? Before i could even try to come out with a better answer for him, he told me he was one of the dropout pilot trainee 10 years ago.
And that he told me he wasn't allow to downgrade his vocation to something else, so he's stuck with his rank for the 12 years contract, yet wasn't able to enjoy the $3,000+ flying allowance unlike those certified pilots. Pass out rate given by him: 30 over 3000 trainees. I'm sure you guys can work out the percentage relatively easily.
Again, so much to write, yet nothing to type. During our 12km route march last thursday, my platoon started singing songs after we got sick of those army songs. Probably that's how we managed to complete the tiring march and be able to still laugh at our own editing of the songs we sang.
One that captures me most is the one you're listening to now. This song is a cover by the group New Found Glory, originally by The Wonders. Meaningful lyrics yet again, even though it considered to be a rather old song.
Enjoy the song, though it's abit noisy for most i believe. That's all i have for this post.
I don't care anymore, because i care way too much.
Today marks the last 3 weeks of my time over at Tekong. Most of the crucial events have been done. Last 2 events left now; IPPT and SOC. Probably SOC isn't the main issue of concern due to the low 5% passing rate, based on history.
Short weekend break for me this week due to my SIT Test, which ended on Sat, and only managed to book out at 730pm. Not a bad thing afterall, at least i don't have to vex about what to do over the weekends. Too much time for me now, isn't a good thing. All my stupid emo will start coming out again.
Just on the day of my SIT Test, i was appointed platoon IC. Something i wasn't expecting to, yet it's something one have be at least once, to have a feel of how it's like to be a leader, whereby you have to control your men. On the downside of it, you are responsible for the whole platoon and you get tonnes of extra work. Just imagine booking out without bathing when most of the platoon did.
During my SIT test, the accessor for my detail who is an Officer, after knowing that i'm waiting for my pending medical test for the pilot vocation, asked me the same killer question again. Why do i want to be a pilot? Before i could even try to come out with a better answer for him, he told me he was one of the dropout pilot trainee 10 years ago.
And that he told me he wasn't allow to downgrade his vocation to something else, so he's stuck with his rank for the 12 years contract, yet wasn't able to enjoy the $3,000+ flying allowance unlike those certified pilots. Pass out rate given by him: 30 over 3000 trainees. I'm sure you guys can work out the percentage relatively easily.
Again, so much to write, yet nothing to type. During our 12km route march last thursday, my platoon started singing songs after we got sick of those army songs. Probably that's how we managed to complete the tiring march and be able to still laugh at our own editing of the songs we sang.
One that captures me most is the one you're listening to now. This song is a cover by the group New Found Glory, originally by The Wonders. Meaningful lyrics yet again, even though it considered to be a rather old song.
Enjoy the song, though it's abit noisy for most i believe. That's all i have for this post.
I don't care anymore, because i care way too much.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
I'm holding on..
Been quite some time since i last posted something purely on my thoughts. Seriously, i'm flattered to hear from my friends, those who visited my blog, telling me that they do come back again and read my old posts again, thinking through the thoughts or some words of wisdom made by me.
My blog of cause ain't something like those SPG's blog, whereby i get high hit rates daily or nor do my blog has posts which will engaged to mass audience. Of cause, i do get comments that some of my posts are just plain bullshit or that i'm beating around the bush and hinting something else.
Nonetheless, i guess to me, my blog is just a medium for me to write what's in my mind, with or without the intention to insult one, having or not mentioned names of those involved in my life, and of cause, wherever possible, to share some thoughts and most of the time promote pessimism?
To a certain extend, i think i've reached the crossroad of my life. Crossroad, i meant a point of uncertainties. Living comfortably for the past 10 years of so, whereby education in Singapore is pretty much fixed and designated for us, one hardly has to worry what lies ahead.
Just when i'm serving the nation now, i felt a slight change. The path ahead of me ain't that clear and well-drawn now. Perhaps it's the military life that makes me feeling this, but one way or another, it's more about the fact that when you are given wide selection of choices but in a limited context, that's when you feel lost and helpless.
Wide selection of choices but in a limited context? What do i mean here? Put it in layman's term, it's like having a choice of fruits in a basket. You get to choose quite a substantial number of fruits, but you're limited to only the basket. Still don't get what i meant? Put it even simpler, pick one apple or orange or durian or papaya or mango from a basket.
Sounds pretty good for that you have at least 5 fruits to choose from ain't it? But think again, whatever is inside the basket might not be the best you can ever choose from and worst case scenario, you hate all the 5 fruits presented to you.
Probably in life, we are pretty much always in this situation. Just have to pick the best out of the worst. Perhaps that's how the sayings of "survival of the fittest" and "best man win" came from.
For my case, i'm at the crossroad whereby i'm stuck between choosing to take up the pilot vocation, go through 26 months of uncertainties and put on hold for my university or to just go through my National Service as regular man and continue my degree 2 years later.
I guess for most, one would have easily pick the first choice and just go for it. Then again, i'll be questioned on what do i really wish to achieve in life. If there's something else i hope to attain, probably i should stick to the tradition route and take option 2.
Got to put this aside for now, since there's nothing much i can do yet, i'll just play watch and catch. Whatever i get at the end my BMT period, i'll just have to gladly accept it and see how it goes from there.
Moments ago i had a chat with a close buddy of mine back in the secondary days. After hearing from him and updating me his life and what he's going through now, i feel glad that i'm not alone and that i do have friends which is something i always claim not to have. I updated him my life and we had a short chat about our future.
Something nice to be able catch up with those who spend a period of time with you. Sharing and going through the tough times together. Especially at this period of time, whereby most of us are busy and occupied with their own stuff.
Few days back, another friend of mine was asking me if i'm in the emotional state yet again. "Again" is the word used here. All that i can say is that my life is pretty much like a roller coaster ride. Ups and downs at unexpected turns, twisting and turning at all directions.
Something i always mentioned it to my friend, and that's how i wish i could fast-forward my life to when i'm like 70 years old? That's when i can just lie back on my rocking chair, reflecting what i've achieved and done for others. With no worries in mind, just reminiscing my past, giving myself a pat and say, "Well done."
Yet sometimes i'll blame God, even though i'm a free-thinker, blame my luck, which is something i never had, blame fate, something that has be cruel to me, and even blame myself, simply for the life i'm given to.
I just can't understand the fact that why i'm being presented things which will leave me someday. I would have prefer not to have them at all, not even for a slightly moment. Call it heaven's will, call it fated, call it destinated, call it whatever it is, cause it has happened to me more than once and i'm getting sick of it.
Everytime and whenever i wish to write my thoughts down, they just seems to run away from me as i start typing. Yet there's some much i hope to say, so much that i just wish to scream out loud. I just wish the one will take me away from this place, to somewhere i belong. Somewhere i will be truly happy. As for where and how it's going to be like for me to be happy, just watch the space after this post.
I've changed a new song. Hold on by Good Charlotte, mainly for the lyrics which best describes my mood and a good motivation to stay positive. The most unpleasant thing about this post is that it's not the original one which i spent 2 hours typing and lost it due to publishing error. Just when you're screwed up, things just don't go your way too.
I wish..
Been quite some time since i last posted something purely on my thoughts. Seriously, i'm flattered to hear from my friends, those who visited my blog, telling me that they do come back again and read my old posts again, thinking through the thoughts or some words of wisdom made by me.
My blog of cause ain't something like those SPG's blog, whereby i get high hit rates daily or nor do my blog has posts which will engaged to mass audience. Of cause, i do get comments that some of my posts are just plain bullshit or that i'm beating around the bush and hinting something else.
Nonetheless, i guess to me, my blog is just a medium for me to write what's in my mind, with or without the intention to insult one, having or not mentioned names of those involved in my life, and of cause, wherever possible, to share some thoughts and most of the time promote pessimism?
To a certain extend, i think i've reached the crossroad of my life. Crossroad, i meant a point of uncertainties. Living comfortably for the past 10 years of so, whereby education in Singapore is pretty much fixed and designated for us, one hardly has to worry what lies ahead.
Just when i'm serving the nation now, i felt a slight change. The path ahead of me ain't that clear and well-drawn now. Perhaps it's the military life that makes me feeling this, but one way or another, it's more about the fact that when you are given wide selection of choices but in a limited context, that's when you feel lost and helpless.
Wide selection of choices but in a limited context? What do i mean here? Put it in layman's term, it's like having a choice of fruits in a basket. You get to choose quite a substantial number of fruits, but you're limited to only the basket. Still don't get what i meant? Put it even simpler, pick one apple or orange or durian or papaya or mango from a basket.
Sounds pretty good for that you have at least 5 fruits to choose from ain't it? But think again, whatever is inside the basket might not be the best you can ever choose from and worst case scenario, you hate all the 5 fruits presented to you.
Probably in life, we are pretty much always in this situation. Just have to pick the best out of the worst. Perhaps that's how the sayings of "survival of the fittest" and "best man win" came from.
For my case, i'm at the crossroad whereby i'm stuck between choosing to take up the pilot vocation, go through 26 months of uncertainties and put on hold for my university or to just go through my National Service as regular man and continue my degree 2 years later.
I guess for most, one would have easily pick the first choice and just go for it. Then again, i'll be questioned on what do i really wish to achieve in life. If there's something else i hope to attain, probably i should stick to the tradition route and take option 2.
Got to put this aside for now, since there's nothing much i can do yet, i'll just play watch and catch. Whatever i get at the end my BMT period, i'll just have to gladly accept it and see how it goes from there.
Moments ago i had a chat with a close buddy of mine back in the secondary days. After hearing from him and updating me his life and what he's going through now, i feel glad that i'm not alone and that i do have friends which is something i always claim not to have. I updated him my life and we had a short chat about our future.
Something nice to be able catch up with those who spend a period of time with you. Sharing and going through the tough times together. Especially at this period of time, whereby most of us are busy and occupied with their own stuff.
Few days back, another friend of mine was asking me if i'm in the emotional state yet again. "Again" is the word used here. All that i can say is that my life is pretty much like a roller coaster ride. Ups and downs at unexpected turns, twisting and turning at all directions.
Something i always mentioned it to my friend, and that's how i wish i could fast-forward my life to when i'm like 70 years old? That's when i can just lie back on my rocking chair, reflecting what i've achieved and done for others. With no worries in mind, just reminiscing my past, giving myself a pat and say, "Well done."
Yet sometimes i'll blame God, even though i'm a free-thinker, blame my luck, which is something i never had, blame fate, something that has be cruel to me, and even blame myself, simply for the life i'm given to.
I just can't understand the fact that why i'm being presented things which will leave me someday. I would have prefer not to have them at all, not even for a slightly moment. Call it heaven's will, call it fated, call it destinated, call it whatever it is, cause it has happened to me more than once and i'm getting sick of it.
Everytime and whenever i wish to write my thoughts down, they just seems to run away from me as i start typing. Yet there's some much i hope to say, so much that i just wish to scream out loud. I just wish the one will take me away from this place, to somewhere i belong. Somewhere i will be truly happy. As for where and how it's going to be like for me to be happy, just watch the space after this post.
I've changed a new song. Hold on by Good Charlotte, mainly for the lyrics which best describes my mood and a good motivation to stay positive. The most unpleasant thing about this post is that it's not the original one which i spent 2 hours typing and lost it due to publishing error. Just when you're screwed up, things just don't go your way too.
I wish..
Thursday, November 03, 2005
The world is black
Got a new look for my blog, and it's none other than the colors of my life; Black and white. Not gonna talk or elaborate much about it, just gonna take what's been given to me. Tough time don't last, tough man do.
Alright, let's talk about what happened for the whole of last week.
Today marks the end of a 3 days break after a long 7 days outfield which ended last Sunday. Out of the 7 long solid days, i think it rained for 6 days or maybe everyday? I can't even remember there's any period of time where the rain wasn't around, dripping on our soiled bodies.
The time spent out on the field wasn't that bad, just that you get to see the true colors of those around you. Called it human's nature or whatsoever, one tends to reach for help yet refuses to lend a hand.
Like what my Platoon Commander(PC) 2LT Tay said, it only takes a black sheep to sabotage the whole platoon. But most of the time, i would say it's more than a sheep, probably it's the lazy mindset of many that causes everyone to be punished.
The punishments we got during the 7 days wasn't really that bad, considering we only had a turnout. A turnout is when in the middle of our sleep, we are awaken by the thunderflash thrown by the commanders, and all that we have to do, is to pack up, make sure we don't lose any equipment, get geared up and move off as soon as possible.
The turnout we experienced was the last day of our field camp. Was told the previous night, our reveille time was at 0700hrs. The best timing one can ever get in SAF, prior to the fact that, the standard timing is always around 0515 to 0545hrs.
Thinking that we were given longer rest before we have to do our Battle Inoculation Course(BIC) in the morning, all of us wasn't prepared for the turnout which we haven't had before. Without much doubt, we screwed up the timing given for us to get everything sorted, geared up and gather together, thus we simply got the stick from them.
It was around 0530hrs or so when the turnout occurred, everyone was in dazed and one of my section mate even told us later on that he thought there was a real war. The loud thunderflashes and the shouting by the commanders did in fact shocked many. We did our punishments in Full Battle Order(FBO), while some of us are still trying to figure out what exactly happened.
This is probably the most "exciting" part of our 7 days field camp. Throughout the 7 days, some of us "lost" (during our sleep, the commanders will prowl around our tents and take away those rifles which are not clinged onto, we have to iterally hugged our rifles to sleep.) our M16 rifles over the night, some caught with possession of contrabands. Contrabands refering to wet tissues, mosquito coils or extra food.
As a result, some of them will be serving guard duties or confinements in due time. Thank god i wasn't one of those in the name list. Especially those caught with possession of wet tissues towards the second last day of the camp, i think they are rather silly. Cause we are told to surrender them on our first day of the outfield.
Probably they thought they could just hide and run off with it, but never did one expect that we are told to empty our fieldpack on the second last evening. Called it unlucky or what, probably that's how they instill discipline in us.
The 2 main highlights of the 7 day outfield are the trench digging and the BIC i mentioned earlier. For those who gone throught BMT before, they will have their fair share of digging and crawling to share.
On the 6th day of the camp, we all have to dig a 2m by 1m hole and it has to be around slightly less than a metre. Sounds and look easy, but trust me, even though i dug the fastest in my platoon, i took close to 3 hours.
And the reward? Blisters all around your fingers, you also get to lie in it, no back down, but body down in prone position and of cause not forgetting you are allowed to take some photos of it as souvenirs.
After the 3 long hours digging, the last and most tough one is to dig a 3m by 1m hole and i has to be chest level deep, taking the height of the tallest guy in the section. Sorry guys, i'm the tallest, so we dug around 1.5m deep. The relief side of this, is that the whole section present at that moment, 11 of us share the work.
Again, this took around 3hrs plus and that concludes the end of all the diggings. Starting work at around 0800hrs, we end the day around 1800hrs. Everyone was worn out, including me. But something i felt and saw that day was that, everyone was too self-centred. Everyone was for himself, only a handful was there helping out the rest when they are done with their own trench.
Not to mention the section fire trench, only some are putting in extra effort. Not sure how they felt or think, but i always had this thought whenever i wanted to slack, "I'm tired, i want to rest. But is it only me who's tired?".
On the last day, we went through the BIC. It's a course whereby one has to leopard and back crawl for about 80m, throught a series of barbwire. Live rounds are shot over our heads thus we have to keep low at all times, but when it's our turn, there wasn't any rounds fired.
Probably they ran out of ammunitions, since we are the last company to do the course. SAF is forever that screwed up in terms of planning, and trust me, many will agree on this point.
Overall, this outfield i would rate it as a good experience. After all, sleeping in the rain, having mud and soil all over you, eating those disgusting combat rations, getting punishments in FBO, isn't something one get to experience outside SAF.
On our last night, our company newly attached PC 2LT Wayne told us something which i felt quite true and it's something we should keep close to our hearts whenever we are going through hell.
He said, "How often or how many get to experience life with a group of guys, together for 3 months, sleeping together, eat together, sweat together, laugh together?". And mind you, it's a group of 49 for my platoon.
As always, there will be jokers out there, and they replied, "Have! All Singapore guys will have the chance to experience it. Made in Singapore!". Cause we are forced to do so? Haha, i'll leave that to individual interpretation.
Alright, before i pack up and start preparing to book in yet again, i'll do a quick update for my pilot selection. So far my status is that i've made it to the last stage of the selection.
First stage of the computerized test is cleared. Second stage of board selection interview is done too. Last stage of medical test is still pending. I've just told my medical on Monday, the moment i stepped onto the mainland over at Changi Ferry Terminal after my bookout, i was pulled out for the medical and headed straight to Eunos, Aeromedical Center, how unlucky can one get.
The medical probably is gonna take some take for them to access, considering they took 2 tubes of blood from us and i won't be surprise they are doing tonnes of tests with it.
So what's going to happen next is that after my medical is cleared, the 2 criterias i need to achieve would be IPPT Silver and Top 10% performance for my BMT cohort. I'll then be signing a 12 years contract as pilot, and 2 years of my National Service is included in the term.
As a result, i need 2 sureties(guarantors) for my contract. If i breech the contract at any point of time, meaning if i'm suspected of failing my training on purpose, or that i wanted to leave, i have to pay $500,000. What a sum to pay off. And this has to be done before i head off to Australia for my course. I haven't got the 2 sureties required, and they have to be 21 years old and earning an income of $800.
My University education will have to be put on hold too. They only allow Cat B status pilot to further their studies. According to them, Cat B refers to the flying hours clocked and it will usually take 2-3 years after being certified as operation ready pilot, to achieve that status. In short, i'll be like 26-27 then i'll get to go Uni.
Training during the first 2 years is tough too. Any point of time, you can just be cut off if you don't make the mark. 26 months is the minimum time one needs to spend and endure through, to finally have the gold wings on your chest.
The plus point is of cause the prestige and pay they offered. As a pilot, you're a commissioned Officer and trainee pay is at $1,998. As you go along, the pay is likely to double, tripled and quadrupled.
Even though it may sounds like a bright future, but as a trainee, it's not that bright. It's more like you're place on wire rope, having to make sure you stay on it at all times.
For now, i'll just be on the ball, taking what's been given to me. Keeping a positive mind and remain cheerful.
Lastly, just wanna say, no matter what i have done, i did them with my heart and soul. I placed my pride on the line and i'll never succumb to loneliess. So, either you are with me, or if not, so long and good night.
"Learn to let go when you know you will be losing it someday."
Got a new look for my blog, and it's none other than the colors of my life; Black and white. Not gonna talk or elaborate much about it, just gonna take what's been given to me. Tough time don't last, tough man do.
Alright, let's talk about what happened for the whole of last week.
Today marks the end of a 3 days break after a long 7 days outfield which ended last Sunday. Out of the 7 long solid days, i think it rained for 6 days or maybe everyday? I can't even remember there's any period of time where the rain wasn't around, dripping on our soiled bodies.
The time spent out on the field wasn't that bad, just that you get to see the true colors of those around you. Called it human's nature or whatsoever, one tends to reach for help yet refuses to lend a hand.
Like what my Platoon Commander(PC) 2LT Tay said, it only takes a black sheep to sabotage the whole platoon. But most of the time, i would say it's more than a sheep, probably it's the lazy mindset of many that causes everyone to be punished.
The punishments we got during the 7 days wasn't really that bad, considering we only had a turnout. A turnout is when in the middle of our sleep, we are awaken by the thunderflash thrown by the commanders, and all that we have to do, is to pack up, make sure we don't lose any equipment, get geared up and move off as soon as possible.
The turnout we experienced was the last day of our field camp. Was told the previous night, our reveille time was at 0700hrs. The best timing one can ever get in SAF, prior to the fact that, the standard timing is always around 0515 to 0545hrs.
Thinking that we were given longer rest before we have to do our Battle Inoculation Course(BIC) in the morning, all of us wasn't prepared for the turnout which we haven't had before. Without much doubt, we screwed up the timing given for us to get everything sorted, geared up and gather together, thus we simply got the stick from them.
It was around 0530hrs or so when the turnout occurred, everyone was in dazed and one of my section mate even told us later on that he thought there was a real war. The loud thunderflashes and the shouting by the commanders did in fact shocked many. We did our punishments in Full Battle Order(FBO), while some of us are still trying to figure out what exactly happened.
This is probably the most "exciting" part of our 7 days field camp. Throughout the 7 days, some of us "lost" (during our sleep, the commanders will prowl around our tents and take away those rifles which are not clinged onto, we have to iterally hugged our rifles to sleep.) our M16 rifles over the night, some caught with possession of contrabands. Contrabands refering to wet tissues, mosquito coils or extra food.
As a result, some of them will be serving guard duties or confinements in due time. Thank god i wasn't one of those in the name list. Especially those caught with possession of wet tissues towards the second last day of the camp, i think they are rather silly. Cause we are told to surrender them on our first day of the outfield.
Probably they thought they could just hide and run off with it, but never did one expect that we are told to empty our fieldpack on the second last evening. Called it unlucky or what, probably that's how they instill discipline in us.
The 2 main highlights of the 7 day outfield are the trench digging and the BIC i mentioned earlier. For those who gone throught BMT before, they will have their fair share of digging and crawling to share.
On the 6th day of the camp, we all have to dig a 2m by 1m hole and it has to be around slightly less than a metre. Sounds and look easy, but trust me, even though i dug the fastest in my platoon, i took close to 3 hours.
And the reward? Blisters all around your fingers, you also get to lie in it, no back down, but body down in prone position and of cause not forgetting you are allowed to take some photos of it as souvenirs.
After the 3 long hours digging, the last and most tough one is to dig a 3m by 1m hole and i has to be chest level deep, taking the height of the tallest guy in the section. Sorry guys, i'm the tallest, so we dug around 1.5m deep. The relief side of this, is that the whole section present at that moment, 11 of us share the work.
Again, this took around 3hrs plus and that concludes the end of all the diggings. Starting work at around 0800hrs, we end the day around 1800hrs. Everyone was worn out, including me. But something i felt and saw that day was that, everyone was too self-centred. Everyone was for himself, only a handful was there helping out the rest when they are done with their own trench.
Not to mention the section fire trench, only some are putting in extra effort. Not sure how they felt or think, but i always had this thought whenever i wanted to slack, "I'm tired, i want to rest. But is it only me who's tired?".
On the last day, we went through the BIC. It's a course whereby one has to leopard and back crawl for about 80m, throught a series of barbwire. Live rounds are shot over our heads thus we have to keep low at all times, but when it's our turn, there wasn't any rounds fired.
Probably they ran out of ammunitions, since we are the last company to do the course. SAF is forever that screwed up in terms of planning, and trust me, many will agree on this point.
Overall, this outfield i would rate it as a good experience. After all, sleeping in the rain, having mud and soil all over you, eating those disgusting combat rations, getting punishments in FBO, isn't something one get to experience outside SAF.
On our last night, our company newly attached PC 2LT Wayne told us something which i felt quite true and it's something we should keep close to our hearts whenever we are going through hell.
He said, "How often or how many get to experience life with a group of guys, together for 3 months, sleeping together, eat together, sweat together, laugh together?". And mind you, it's a group of 49 for my platoon.
As always, there will be jokers out there, and they replied, "Have! All Singapore guys will have the chance to experience it. Made in Singapore!". Cause we are forced to do so? Haha, i'll leave that to individual interpretation.
Alright, before i pack up and start preparing to book in yet again, i'll do a quick update for my pilot selection. So far my status is that i've made it to the last stage of the selection.
First stage of the computerized test is cleared. Second stage of board selection interview is done too. Last stage of medical test is still pending. I've just told my medical on Monday, the moment i stepped onto the mainland over at Changi Ferry Terminal after my bookout, i was pulled out for the medical and headed straight to Eunos, Aeromedical Center, how unlucky can one get.
The medical probably is gonna take some take for them to access, considering they took 2 tubes of blood from us and i won't be surprise they are doing tonnes of tests with it.
So what's going to happen next is that after my medical is cleared, the 2 criterias i need to achieve would be IPPT Silver and Top 10% performance for my BMT cohort. I'll then be signing a 12 years contract as pilot, and 2 years of my National Service is included in the term.
As a result, i need 2 sureties(guarantors) for my contract. If i breech the contract at any point of time, meaning if i'm suspected of failing my training on purpose, or that i wanted to leave, i have to pay $500,000. What a sum to pay off. And this has to be done before i head off to Australia for my course. I haven't got the 2 sureties required, and they have to be 21 years old and earning an income of $800.
My University education will have to be put on hold too. They only allow Cat B status pilot to further their studies. According to them, Cat B refers to the flying hours clocked and it will usually take 2-3 years after being certified as operation ready pilot, to achieve that status. In short, i'll be like 26-27 then i'll get to go Uni.
Training during the first 2 years is tough too. Any point of time, you can just be cut off if you don't make the mark. 26 months is the minimum time one needs to spend and endure through, to finally have the gold wings on your chest.
The plus point is of cause the prestige and pay they offered. As a pilot, you're a commissioned Officer and trainee pay is at $1,998. As you go along, the pay is likely to double, tripled and quadrupled.
Even though it may sounds like a bright future, but as a trainee, it's not that bright. It's more like you're place on wire rope, having to make sure you stay on it at all times.
For now, i'll just be on the ball, taking what's been given to me. Keeping a positive mind and remain cheerful.
Lastly, just wanna say, no matter what i have done, i did them with my heart and soul. I placed my pride on the line and i'll never succumb to loneliess. So, either you are with me, or if not, so long and good night.
"Learn to let go when you know you will be losing it someday."
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