May angels lead you in

The last time i blogged on a weekday was like light years ago. With the amount of free time i had now, not exactly free time actually, we are supposed to read up some materials online as part of our lesson plans, i decided to add an entry over here. So being a "hardworking" soldier, i'm here leaving some thoughts, to beautify my blog and perhaps hopefully add some value-adding contents in my blog, especially after my friend was telling me how dull my blog is.

Just a random thought; "Treat yourself better and people will starting treating you good. Start loving yourself first before loving others, and others would love you even more." So how true it exactly is, in my humble opinion, i think it's relatively true to some extend. Ever wonder why the loner gets more lonely, while the player gets more playful?

Speaking from a loner's point of view, one tends to hide himself away from the unnecessary limelight, and often get emo in just a twitch of the eye. Most of the time he would associate all the negative and unwanted thoughts to whatever stuff that's presented to him and end up having a super pessimistic character in long term.

Just moments ago, i made myself looked like a fool, yet again. What's new. Somehow i misinterpreted a note i saw somewhere and thought that i was the one being mentioned. But after chatting with the person, the whole picture actually changes and i came to an conclusion and that's; no, not even close. "Nice try". After i figured it out, i felt like laughing my head off. Someone should really instill the thinking of i shouldn't "think-too-much" into my thick skull. So much of feeling that i'm a thinker, perhaps like what my PC in OCS said months ago, i should be labelled as "Numbskull" instead.

Face it, i'm always thinking too much at times, may it be constructive to me or not, i always get it wrong. And more than often i felt cheated by it, yet after realising the boo-boo i made, i tried looking back at the same thing from the factual side, i think i'm simply stupid to the core for trying to make it look good for myself. That's explains why i feel like laughing, literally at myself.

Probably most of you reading this are already lost with what i'm trying to say. In short, it boils down to the topic i mentioned in my first paragraph. Perhaps it's better to be selfish, more self-centred, heck care about what's happening around me and lead a hermit lifestyle. It's just tiring trying to be someone. Try being a doormat. I should add this "doormat" to my middle name.

Giving myself the best of stuff, grooming up more, pay more attention to my own stuff rather than others, perhaps it's more constructive to me instead. And maybe if i do, i'll probably lead a better life and with more people more concern with me. Either way, there is always pros and cons, and i reckon in the near future to come, i'll just be who i am now, and let the fate game decides my destiny.

Till then.