Ah Beng's FutureCard ( Likely Scenerio )

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut Geylang. May I have your..."

Ah Beng: "Haloo, arh...can I orler huh..."

Operator: "Can I have your Future Card number first, Sir?"

Ah Beng: "It's arh..., hold on prease, arh..... S6102-0499-54610FC"

Operator: "OK... you're... Tan Ah Beng alias 'Or Kwee Tao' and you're calling from 17-D Lorong 14, Geylang. Your home number is 6782 8828, your office 6782 8838 and your mobile is 96828848. Which number are you calling from now Sir?

Ah Beng: "Home lah! Wah Lan...How you get all my phone lumbers, arh?"

Operator: "We are connected to the 'FutureCard' system Sir"

Ah Beng: "OK lah, okay lah...Can I orler your Seafood Pisar..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Ah Beng: "Why....Cannot arh?"

Operator: "According to your latest medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Ah Beng: "What?...Wah Lan!....medical lecords also hab... you lecommend lah?"

Operator: "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Ah Beng: "Wah...How you know I like Hokkien mee, arh?"

Operator: "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Ah Beng: "OK...OK...Buay Ta Han... I give up... Gif me three family sized ones then, how much arh?

Operator: "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is $45..."

Ah Beng: "I pay by FutureCard...Can or Not ?"

Operator: "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you're owing your bank $6720.55- since October last year"

Ah Beng: "Ka Nee Nah!... Everything also know...chiat lat!"

Operator: "That's not including the late payment charges on yourhousing loan Sir.

Ah Beng: "Okay lah...I run to ATM and withdraw some cash before you come my house lor"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today....with the latest withdrawal of $250 for 4D and TOTO at 2.46pm"

Ah Beng: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I borrow money from my Ah Mah. How long arh?"

Operator: "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle...it'll be ready in 15 mins and you are only 5 mins away"

Ah Beng: "Where got transport?"

Operator: "According to the details in your FutureCard", you own a Honda Scooter, ...registration number FE 3288..."

Ah Beng: "Ka Nee Nah!"

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman... ?"

Ah Beng: [Speechless and calms down after being reminded of the brush with the law]

Operator: "Is there anything else Sir?"

Ah Beng: "Nothing... by the way... still got stock of that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised or not?"

Operator: "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

Ah Beng: [Heard cursing away as he slams down the phone and telling his family he is going to the Hawker Centre to 'Tar Pow']