lost

time now 2:34am...
still not slping yet...
haiz..
recently quite a no. of things happened...
how it goes abt..
is a long story..
so much tt i dunno wad am i doing now..
i getting lost in the thick jungle..
getting nowhere..
wad i wan seems diff to archieve..
wad i hate to see..
seems to be happening all the time..

life seems to reach a pt of saturation..
its full of everything..
but lack of most things..
dun even noe wad i'm toking now..

let's tok abt happiness..
ok.. those reading tis..
tell mi how many of u all hav wad u tink is true happiness?
and how u gonna define happiness?
by going thru the same routine over and over again?
tt's happiness?
or the happy things u hope to see everyday?

or seeing some1 happy is happiness?
or seeing some1 showing concern to u?

to mi all is the same..
things u dun see and u dunno is true happiness..
some things cant be force.. juz like frenship, love, etc.
well.. u can fight 4 it...
but at the end of the day..

u ask urself tis.. who r u fighting 4?
urself?
ur fren?
ur love?
or juz fighting for the sake of fighting..
or simply becos life is too short?
and u got to live it up to every moment?

btw.. if u happened to read tis.. u shld feel lost..
cos i'm in tt situation rite now...
wad am i doing now?
wad am i tinking now?

haiz..
aft 18yrs.. i seen thru many.. so much tt i begin to fear..
tis world is so scary..
the 1 next to u rite now could be ur greatest enemy..
the 1 next to u could be ur worst love..
but the logic is simple..
no1 likes to noe the truth..
we prefer nice words..
we rather hide fr the truth den to face the music..
we, human r the world most notoriest animal..

well.. as 4 my life.. i tink i hav gone thru many shit..
so much so tt.. maybe i'm numbed..
my life is hardly under my controlled..
i had to turn the direction i'm instructed..
juz when i tot i finally saw a ray of hope..
it's gone 4ever..
my life is back to the same..

tink i'm tinking too much at tis pt.. got to stop..
haiz...
i'm lost...