SEX Nightmares~

NIGHTMARE #1

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over,
pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his
lighter.

Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand.
"There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches
sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man. naturally,
the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he inquired
nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend
then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said, nibbling away
at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."


NIGHTMARE #2

The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was
trying to think of a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work,
and found his wife asleep in bed. He thought to himself, "what
should I do?" "Oh-I know."

He proceeded to get under the covers and go down
on his wife. Soon she began to gently squirm and moan in
pleasure.

After a few minutes, her body spasmed with ecstasy as she
climaxed.

Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush
his teeth. When he got there, the light was on and he saw his
wife there shaving her legs.

He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!?"

She said, "Shhhh!," pointing at the bed, "You'll
wake your mother"


NIGHTMARE #3

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to
kiss each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts
feeling a little horny.

With an air of confidence, he leans with his
hand against the wall and smiling, he says to her, "Honey, would
you give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad?
My parents will see us!"

"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
He asks grinning at her. "No, please. Can you imagine if we
get caught?" "Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all
sleeping!" "No way. It's just too risky!"

"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?" "No, no, and no. I love you too, but I
just can't!" "Oh yes you can. Please?"

Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her
pajamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she says, "Dad says to go
ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if need be, mom
says she can come down herself and do it.

But for God's sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!"

HOw's That??