Sex education!!

ALL U GUYS COULD USE A LITTLE OF THIS......

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious.
He had been hearing quite a bit about 'courting' from the older boys,
and he wondered what it was and how it was done.

One day he took his question to his mother, who became rather flustered.

Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains one night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend.

This he did.
The following morning, Johnny described EVERYTHING to his mother.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for a while, then he started kissing and hugging her I figured 'Sis must be getting sick because her face started looking funny.

He must have thought so too, because he put his hand inside her blouse to feel her heart, just the way the doctor would.

Except he's not as smart as the docotr because he seemed to have trouble finding her heart.
I guess he was getting sick too, because pretty soon both of them started panting and getting all out of breath.

His other hand must have been cold because he put it under her skirt.
About this time 'Sis got worse and began to moan and sigh and squirm around and slide down toward the end of the couch.
This was when her fever started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis told him she felt really hot.

Finally, I found out what was making them so sick -- a big eel had gotten inside his pants somehow.

It just jumped out of his pants and stood there, about 10 inches long, honest, anyway he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from getting away.

When Sis saw it, she got really scared -- her eyes got big, and her mouth fell open, and she started calling out to God and stuff like that.

She said it was the biggest one she's ever seen; I should tell her about the ones down at the lake by our house!

Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the eel by biting its head off.
All of a sudden she grabbed it with both hands and held it tight while he took a muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it over the eel's head to keep it from biting again.
Sis lay back and spread her legs so she could get a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying on top of the eel.

The eel put up a hell of a fight. Sis started groaning and squealing and her boyfriend almost upset the couch.

I guess they wanted to kill the eel by squashing it between them.
Her boyfriend got up, and sure enough, they killed the eel.

I knew because it just hung there, limp, and some of its insides were hanging out.

Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired from the battle, but they went back to courting anyway.

He started hugging and kissing her again.

By golly, the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up and started to fight again.
I guess eels are like cats -- they have nine lives or something.

This time, Sis jumped up and tried to kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35 minute struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew it was dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel its skin off and flush it down the toilet.

Dirty Jokes!

Subject to M-18

(1)
Question: Why is the '69' position also called the 'smokers position?'
Answer: Because while she is smoking the cigar, he is cleaning the ashtray.
Question: Why is sperm donation more expensive rather than blood donation?
Answer: Because it's HANDMADE!!

(2)
Man 1 : "My wife is obsessed with cars. While asleep, she holds my bird and say '1st gear, 2nd gear...'"
Man 2 : "My wife is worse! She puts my bird inside her and say 'Full tank please'."

(3)
Question : What is the closest thing that is similar to a woman's period?
Answer : Your salary; it comes once a month, lasts about 5-7 days and if it doesn't come, it means you are in big trouble!

(4)
Question : What is the smallest hotel in the world?
Answer : It's Vagina Inn because it can only accommodate 1 standing occupant who must leave his 2 baggages outside!

(5)
Two prostitutes were in a taxi, on their way home after "work".
Bitch 1 : I smell sperm!
Bitch 2 : Sorry, I burped!

(6)
A woman gave birth to six babies and on seeing this she got off the
hospital bed, slapped her husband and shouted, "I told you not to do
it doggy style!"

(7)
A man went to the chemist to buy Viagra.
The Chemist said that it would be useless. The man said, "I am 70, sex is
out of question, I just want to stop peeing on my shoes."

(8)
"Your secretary said publicly that you have a small penis, would you comment on this?"
"The truth is that she has a big mouth!"

(9)
Dracula asked God, "May I be reincarnated as a white angel with wings and still suck blood?"
God said, "Okay, I will turn you into a sanitary pad."

(10)
Mother was scolding the daughter, "I don't like the guy you are going out with. He is too dumb."
"No, momma," she said, "He is going to be a doctor and he has already cured
me of that illness that I used to have every month!"

How was it??

Man Utd 5 - 0 Panathinaikos

watched it tis morning... the result doesn't speak much abt the match..
it was no beauitful football... boring.... nistelrooy din score... he seemed hungary
for goals... tat desperate look of his...
for the matter of fact... i tink ferguson should retire.!!! he sux!! he may be a good
trophy winner... but tactical wise... and human relationships wit his players.. he suxz!!
i dun understand y he din one to play Ronaldo when Red devils is leading 4-0 at half time..
wad was he tinking.>???
hope tat he would jux retire soon...

ECPJ!!

today stayed back to do the ecpj... done a bit..
sian.. now lab closing... still got pretty much to do..
dunno when den can finished.. got lotsa things to do..
when den can break>>???
haiz~
so sian...
dunno wad i'm typing liao.... ~~

Sian~

today come back sch do the ecpj... done a little bit..
haven done much... still got lots of stuff not yet done..
stress man... haiz~ all the best for those doing the ECPJ~

Damn it~~

yst jux change my blogger skin.. today came back to sch den realise the codings all gone...
shit man.. den now got to change back to my original... so sick... can someone tell me y???
den yst.. forgot to take my zip disk.. left it in sch.. today go back sch find... guess wad??
its still dere... so heng!! muz go buy 4D... den noe doing ecpj... got no mood to do... so sian..
done a little bit... guess tis semester is not gonna do well.. haiz~
CAn ANYONE GIVE ME SOME MOTIVATION???

ECPJ~

later will be having finance e-test.. damn lame.. proj got test wan??? wad the f**k...
haiz~ now got to worry abt E-commerce proj... sian... got to do so much things..
who says poly life is slacker life? i would argue wit him till my lungs can't take it anymore..
but luckily i chose poly over JC.. they r having prelims now... lucky me.. but still got projs...
life is jux a piece of shit...

dunno when den can enjoy life... damn sian.. worry projs.. worry exams... worry BGR...
damn sian...

Finance Proj finally done.

rushin for the last 3 days..
finally it all over...
got different results from others though...
heck care..
juz finished it and tat's it...
for those still doing...
good luck...

Dream Car~