Movies [Updated]

Additional of 4 more movies. Fantastic 4 was pretty good, kinda shame that the plot was too short. Surf's Up is a thumbs up, kinda reminds me how fun skating is. Hot fuzz wasn't that bad, and Death Proof is the lamest of all, and trust me, if you really need to, download it and watch it whille you're listening to some MP3 or news.

Till then.

What's my biggest dream?

Nothing in particular. Maybe you guys can tap on my title and tag my comment box. What's your biggest dream?

Till then.

Responsibilities against dignity

Finally ended the exercise of the year, also the exercise for me before i head back to good old school days. Nothing much happened during the week, just the usual strict demands and lectures from my OC. So as the exercise ended, which is joy for many, but sad to say for me, it marks the start of reports writing for weeks to come. Blunt and unprofessional as i may sound, i would have seriously walk off if i'm not carrying the bar black and collecting the $960 allowance. Everyday i question my responsibilities as an officer, for which the respect and recognition i receive can never justify it.

Since blogging became so common, every details in each post have to be carefully scanned through for any possible disclosure of restricted information. Cases of NSF personnel being charged for posting training photos and comments have been on the rise. So as i go about trying to pen down how i felt about my work and the organisation, i have to think through thrice. Whether my remarks do defame or leak any form of information.

And for this, i guess i'll probably not go anywhere deep and dangerous. In short, ask me personally, and you shall know.

As i yawned my time away typing this, i realised i haven't been blogging often enough to keep my writing juices with me. The length of this post should speaks volume about it.

Till then.

What I've Done

The past 2 weeks have been rather crappy, in terms of army, life, friends, everything. And so, i guess i have to wait for the cursed spell to end yet again.

Till then.

Regrets

So i got a new request for this post. There's quite some thoughts in my mind lately. Not entirely related to regrets, just the usual food of thoughts i always had in the past. But, i just don't have the writing juice in my brain for now. I guess when i do a real post in time to come, it would be a longer one. That's about all i have now, since i haven't start anything about regrets, maybe you guys reading this can just tag on this thread and start putting down your regrets in life. Like it or not, regrets are inevitable. Choosing not to tag me after reading this can be a regret too. Depends on what would happen in the future, say this gonna be my last post, or this is the last time you ever see this. Since no one can predict, watch the space after this for an answer. Till then.

The problem with emo

Once again, it's been some time since my last post. Nothing in particular to post here, just making use of this medium, and hopefully it does, to reach out to my peers out there. Hope you guys are doing well and fine. Lastly, i'm searching high and low for this converse shoe: All-Star eyelet. I was told only Heeren and Bugic boutiques are selling this limited edition. And to my disappointment, the color i wanted, Natural, is long sold out. So if anyone out there managed to find it somewhere, somehow, i'll be more than happy to thank you for informing me. Else, i hope everyone have a fun week ahead.

Till then.

Read my lips

After almost a month of zero post, i guess it's time for me to drop a note and of cause as you can see, a new layout. The past few weekends have been rather meaningful and occupied, and this explains why i haven't really got much time to blog, not to mention changing a new skin after almost a year.

So, i'll let the keyboard do the talking now.

I'm going to start with what happened more recently and slowly go back as i probably would have forgotten the stuff which happened more than 2 weeks ago. For a quick start, i finally submitted my application to IDA scholarship and had my psychometric test over at Civil Service College yesterday. For the benefit of those who hasn't got a clue what the hell it is, it's a test whereby there were 3 sections, and each of them were given 30 minutes to answer them and that includes shading of bubbles on the OMR form.

The first one is what i would call patterns reasoning. Given 9 shapes/patterns, one of them is left blank. So you have to figure out what's the most suitable shape/pattern to fit in. The challenge and difficulty increases as you go along. With 8 options to each question and 36 questions to answer in 30 minutes, try imagining how fun it is.

The second part is on mathematics. Given a short scenario, you have to answer 3 questions with 15 options. The questions requires quite a bit of calculation and of cause no calculating devices were allowed. Likewise, the difficulty increases as you go along, there were 10 scenarios and thus 33 questions to be done in 30 minutes. For this section, i can bet with my last dime, majority of us didn't finished it. And with 15 options to each question, trying to "ti-kam" would also require you to be super lucky.

The last section is somewhat called verbal reasoning. Given 15 short read ups, with profound grammar and words all squeezed in a single paragraph, you have to answer 4 questions each, and answer them either True, False or Can't tell. Seriously, i think i "ti-kam" my way for this entire section. 60 questions under 30 minutes works out to only 30 seconds to try figure out whether the question is true, false or can't tell from the passage.

With almost 150 personnel taking the test, i just wonder what's my odds making it through to the interview stage. And if i'm not wrong, yesterday was just one of the many dates the test is conducted for the scholarship applicants.

And so with this, i guess i can only pray and hope for the best.

Moving next, Sam is back. After making a trip down to Tamworth, like what i did a year ago, he came back with a failure, but i'm sure with many fond priceless memories too. Judging from the way we discussed about the instructors and the stuff over there, i'm sure it's an experience anyone will never forget. Minus the very fact that we both didn't make it to be a pilot, the fact that we did had our shot at it was just as good, if not better.

The whole of last week was pretty tiring. My battalion is on exercise, and its a overnight exercise which stretches for 4 days. And since i'm an officer, like what my men always like to argue with me on, i did 2 night shifts, stretching from 9pm to 9am. To be more accurate, i had to do longer than that, since i was there on Tuesday morning and only get to feel my bed after 26 hours on Wednesday morning. And 5pm from Wednesday evening to 8am Thursday morning. There were reasons why it ended up like that, but i guess i'll skip that part, for they are unpleasant issues to be discuss here. In short, it sucks to be an officer, and worst when you're NSF officers. Go figure out.

There will more of such exercises to come and all that i can look forward would be end of May, and perhaps the 1 week of battalion off just before my birthday.

I guess i'll just end here. Pretty brain dead now. Leaving ya with a new layout and also a new song. Somehow i like it alot, for the lyrics's pretty meaningful. That's all folks. If i'm neglecting you guys, i just hope you all understand. I have my own reasons.

Till then.

Jericholic

Time to pen some thoughts again.

Last week was quite a long one it felt. Having exercises for most of the days and was arrowed to be the conducting officer. There isn't anything much or good to mention about, just felt that its kinda waste time conducting them. The men felt super redundant to do the exercises, and i just felt tired watching and supervising it. Overall, i just wish to sum it up by saying, it's important in life who you work with and why you do so. Everything's a bullshit when people working around you are crappy and things are done for the sake of doing.

The only few fun things i like about army now are the evening to late night soccer games and my own talk crap sessions with my men. My relationship with my men in the company, has been good far so good. At least i'm deemed as a welfare officer in their eyes. Which is why when i get slightly loud, they will get shocked and behave themselves. Good or bad, you tell me.

After showcasing our company capabilities to CO in our exercise, he's more than happy with our performance. Credit goes to our guys and for my detachment, i'm going to fight for 2 days off for them. This despite the very fact that my immediate superior, OC, is only willing to give 1/2 day. Why? Cause he's worried that he might spoil the market and create red eyes among the OCs in other companies.

But for me? I don't care. The politics are so strong and crazy over there, i just can't be bothered with it. So this coming Monday, i'm going to propose the 2 days off for my detachment, and i'm going to argue my way there. Even though i won't get to enjoy any off days cause of the stupid "rule" that officers have no off days, i think my men deserve 2 days.

And my soccer craze has been revived since my secondary days. Played 3 nights of soccer despite the fact that 2 of those evenings, we had 5km run the following morning. And my right hip injury seems to be getting worse. Ever since OCS, the pain just lingers around every now and then. Army either makes or breaks you.

Finally after some real long procrastination, i submitted my IDA scholarship application today. Seriously i think i'm just like buying a ticket, hoping to strike the 10 million lottery. I doubt i'll get it, but there's no harm trying. Fingers crossed, i hope it will eventually leads me to my ideal career in IBM or Microsoft.

Last but not least, to my friends who are reading this, please don't try to make it hard for me to reach to you. Sometimes i just wonder why i need to be always the proactive one. Nonetheless, i guess everyone works differently, and to each his own. Till then.

Axis of life

Once again, time for another emo post. Just days ago, again for god-knows-how-many times, i had another friendly argument with a gal, Ms. Sharin, the gal who never seems to agree with any of my views. Not that i hate her to the core for being such a pest, the fact is that sometimes her harsh true words did wake me up from certain detrimental thoughts. Nonetheless, it's always a good thing to have someone who will knock some sense into me, from time to time.

So the issue arises from the night i got home after a night show with 4 of my OCS buddies. After donkey years of zero movies, i managed to catch Norbit with them. For a start, it's something rare that i'll be so enthusiastic to meet up for such occasion. Apparently, that's just so not me to be meeting them up, not to mention that i had find myself tonnes of reasons not to be there, many a times.

Even my friend, Kenneth was telling me how rare it is for me to meet up with them, for which i have to excuse myself for the meeting around 830pm, and somewhat got cursed and swear for leaving him alone.

Before we depart and make our own ways back home, we have a short chat about the days when we were all in OCS. We were all under the same wing, all under the same platoon. Fond memories were flashing back like a movie, and to many of us, it was surprising to see how everyone could recall all the highlights that happened during the short period of 14 weeks. Some things just do not change. Good or bad.

And in years to come, i'm sure some of us will still be in contact with one another, be successful one way or another. My good buddy, U-Jin, would probably be heading to US to pursue his Economics, and Noah, heading to UK for his Biology. How i wish i was smart and rich enough to pursue my IT in Silicon Valley.

Sitting back comfortably in a Merc cab on the journey back home, thoughts start to fill in yet again. I was just thinking how i should have make good use of my time, more wisely and perhaps more constructively. The amount of time i spend procrastinating can never be justifiable. So the casual chat with Sharin, regarding how i felt i'm missing out so many things in life, slowly escalated to a small debate.

Relating to the recent death of the young actress/singer Xu Wei Lun, many of her friends had regrets of not being able to spend time with her. And the very fact that how some of her close friends were looking forward to have some meet ups, just before the unfortunate news came crashing on them.

So many would probably feel that life is so fragile, you never know what's coming next, and it's best to be always spending more time with your loved ones. I may sound contradicting to what i've mentioned, but i still feel that most importantly, is just to do what you want to. Regrets are always there for you to pin point. A simple choice of rice or noodles can be so regretful when you suffered food poisoning for what you chose and later on regretted for not choosing the former.

Because of the very fact that humans are after all humans, things are not always within our controls. Minimising the regrets we have, can be ideally achieved depending on how we value the degree of happiness. Some people just don't mind going to diet just to save up for a branded bag, while some just want to spend more time with family and thus make it a point to rush back home on a cab everyday after work.

With the case of the person going on diet for the bag suffered acute gastric and ended up hospitalized and the guy who took cab everyday just to be caught in jams and ended up spending equal amount of time on public transport, you tell me if they have any regrets. Of cause, for them, they might not feel so, because that's what they wanted to do. Regrets are merely some form of what-if to them.

For that we only learn from history, we can't position ourselves better for we can't foresee the future. And because of this, life becomes a game of gamble? Win or lose, we only play this game once. No pause, no cheat codes, no premium strategy guides/walkthrough, and simply no restart.

So many would wonder why am i so emo, why do i like to think so much, what is so bad about my life that i have to be so pessimistic. In fact i was told, people will just read blogs and not think deep into it. Like how people will just gossip and read the SPG, Xia Xue's blog and perhaps laugh or shake their head off.

Explain i will not, but i just feel that most of the time, life is so unfair, humans are so uncaring, and good don't usually triumph over the bad. Like how i will always try to answer my friends' calls, their requests, help them out, offer advices and even spend a fortune on them, yet when the table is turned, i just have to ask myself if i choose the wrong time for a listening ear or got the wrong source for help.

So how do i deal with it? I resort to writing blogs, staying home like a hermit and get more and more emo?

But that's so wrong ain't it? Sometimes i just try not to think like that for this is so unhealthy and it gets no where. As of this full stop at the end of this sentence, i'm already 90 minutes into writing this post. Like many of my posts, i just don't feel like writing anymore towards this part.

Before i wrap this up, i think i better make this crystal clear that i'm not having any problems and that i'm getting more positive. The true mastery of oneself is able to relate its darkest side and handle it well. I'm sure many of my friends who know me by name, would never know all these if they don't visit my blog. And for some, they might feel i'm such a fake. Like it or not, life itself is a game, a drama, and if you wish, you may want to call it a joke.

Till then.

The power of Technology

Every week after i got back from camp, the first few things i'll do straight away without fail, is to log on to the net. Friendster, blogs, msn, emails are just some of the routine must-do stuff. And after that i'll paused and start to observe the changes in the house, last but not least, let the thoughts run wild again. Issues pertaining to what happened over the past week, and also some food of thoughts after viewing some friends' updates.

First and foremost, St. Valentine's day. Somehow that day was rather bad, not particularly for me, but it was a day i think it's best it didn't existed. That Wednesday was the day we had a Connexion Trail, a NE kinda excursion to Temples and Mosques. After it concluded, everyone else in the whole battalion was free to leave, and this includes all the men have nights off, special privilege for Valentine's day, but the only one left were men from my company. The reason was that there's exercise the following day, and thus they have to prepare the stuff required.

Personally i don't see a need for them to do so, even if the preparation is crucial, the least we could do is to let them have the night for their partners once the job is done. Most of them were able to complete the required tasking around 7pm, yet they have to stay behind. Even though i'm an officer, and as much as i wish to let them off, there's nothing much i could do. 2nd Lieutenant is the lowest form of officer and our words don't carry any weight at all. I always wanted to be PC where my men will have all the welfare when they deserve it, yet after i started being a PC, it became crystal clear that there's nothing much i could do for them, and it's
often told to us that it's better to draw a clear line between men and officers.

I never believe in such shit for that even as a cadet, i often get reprimanded for not being able to be harsh when the need arises. I believe in everything our men do, they are doing for our sake, and why should we be so critical and harsh to them even when there isn't a need to. The argument often revolves the fact that when officers are too close to men, they start climbing over our heads and demands more instead of working harder. Until now, i think it's a fair statement, but this shouldn't be the obstacle that deprives them of privileges.

Before i side-track, back to v'day, despite all the men staying back to prep, all the officers book out. This was the guilty part. Myself included, we left the men behind while we had our nights out. Not that i'm on a date or anything, but i just joined few of my fellow officers from other company for a meal in town. While my colleagues in my company went Mambo and came back around 4am.

I got back around 9pm and i went to talk to my men. Without doubt, they felt cheated. Why do officers have privileges like this, and why do they have to stay in while the whole battalion book out and have the night till 2359hrs. Of cause minus the fact that the rest do not have any exercises the following day like them, they felt "jailed" for nothing. My upper study wasn't really into giving them the night off as he felt they don't deserve it. I don't know why he feel that way, but he did wanted to give them night off the following Thursday after the exercise. But guess what? The exercise only cut after 9pm, nights out was never given.

Sometimes i just wonder is it that as an officer, my job is to instill tough disciplines, train them hard, make them suffer during peacetime exercise, so that they will not "die" and get extras when it comes to real Ops or real war? Or that i should try to fight for them on days where they ought to be given some welfare? The grey line is so thin, no one can really answer this.

Maybe i'm not the best officer around in SAF, but i always talk to my men, and i want to know what they feel or think. I never believe in leadership through fear instilled in them. For things they done for me, are just to ensure they don't get punished and they will never understand the real rationale behind it. I rather be their friend after work, than to be an enemy whom they will avoid every time they see me.

Moving on to the exercise on Thursday, and like i mentioned earlier, it cut only after 9pm. My direct superior, OC, came down to the exercise deployment ground and did a 2 hour leashing on us. There were zero compliments on the job done by our men, instead there were zillions of fault pointed or questioned by him. I'm not saying what he pointed out was pure fishing bones out from eggs, but it got to a point i think he's just criticizing every little thing. And i think to be a good commander, pointing out mistakes for your subordinates to correct is healthy, but when you don't even want to do it in a positive manner and instead just kept complaining and criticizing, how do you expect them to absorb and understand the true rationale? Anyone can do the job of looking at faults, but can everyone guide and teach like a good teacher with patience and proper guidance?

I have to say my OC is someone who has good thoughts and foresight to be able to criticize, but if he could better manage it, i think our company will be better off rather than having the current situation whereby men are against officers. They just feel that hard work is never appreciated yet more work is tasked and more extras given.

Moving out of army issues, the dinner trip to town on v'day was simple and fun. Together in a group of 5, yes, all males, we took a train down to somerset. The moment i stepped out, i saw a gal, and her splitting image of a friend of mine gave me a scare. Sharin if you're reading this, that gal has 90% similarities, just that she's 1 size bigger which eventually gave her out.

So as we were walking around, i was telling my friends how walking around in town during v'day can get ourselves smack right into the face by the zillions petals and millions of flowers on the street. Nevertheless, it seems like there ain't many rich arse out there who got the crazy triple 9 amount of roses for their spouse. Maybe diamonds and cars are more in now.

So we walked aimlessly and end up chewing breads in Subway over at Cine. Quite a good spot to hang out actually. Cause the choke-point of the whole cineplex is just outside the Subway. You just get all the eye-candies moving up and down the escalators. 6 inches bread for v'day, sounds good huh? My friends were saying it's okay for us to be in town even though it's v'day, for that we can just head to fast food and those cheapo areas for our dinner, but guess what? Budget couples are still around, apparently everywhere was pretty crowded.

What happens when 5 guys are out during v'day? With me around, there's always something naughty up my sleeves. So i suggested to pull off the couples' hand, walk close behind couples and deliberately say things like, "Hey, this guy looks familiar, i saw him with another gal last night.". But of cause, that's just too gay to be done. Nothing much happened and we head back to camp in a cab and the female cabbie was friendly and fun to joke with, i asked for chocolates since it's v'day. There's none she can offer, but the fun chat was good enough.

Remember the previous post i had with regards to my friend's blog site, which sells jewelry and stuff? (The-Jewelicious) Apparently her business is picking up and i think she has long passed the 100 dollar mark. And her clients are actually asking for friendster contacts for that they felt good doing business with her. Humans can be really amazing at time ain't it? Some of my friends who bought from her, somewhat befriended her as well. So much about ugly side of humans, this i think clearly shows when you're sincere and nice, people do like it. Maybe it only applies between gals? Guys have egos too big to swallow? You be the judge.

Last note, happy CNY to all Chinese, and thank you to those other ethic race personnel who will be on duty for us. Have a fun festive period ahead. And if i get too bored, you guys would probably see another post from me real soon. Till then.