Tired

After 7 weeks in OCS, i'm getting real sick and tired. Tired of trainings, tired of the unreasonable demands, tired of responsibilities, tired of going through motions, tired of not having enough rest, tired of running, tired of 20+hrs book out, tired of literally everything.

Despite only 4 days in camp, it seems alot longer than the usual 6-day week. 3 SOCs everyday from Tuesdays to Thursday, IPPT on Wednesday, 2.4km SBO morning PT on Thursday, 30 minutes of 4 storey staircase run on Friday, late night sleep for most days, are taking a toll out of me. Not that i'm totally worn out, but its making feel sick of being an Officer Cadet. I understand the nature and reasons of all these, but i questioned my mental and physical strength.

I'm still short of my 2.4km timing, and i have retake IPPT every week until i achieve gold. Managed to clear my SOC with 9:24 on Thursday, but it's only a Trial Test, which means that i've to clear it again under 9:29 for this coming Wednesday actual SOC Test.

Live Firing on tomorrow and Monday and this means early book in today at 2000hrs. Mind you, i booked out and got home at 2200hrs last night. Signal theory test this coming Tuesday and one wouldn't want to flunk it, especially with confinements already being leashed out to those who failed their GPMG theory test just before book out yesterday evening.

With so many undesirable things to expect, one questions the need of becoming a SAF Officer. I'm only halfway through my Service term, and the remaining 7 weeks shall be the test for me. If i'm already complaining right now, my next 31 weeks will definitely be a misery to me. 9th of December seems to be light years away. And even if it would to come soon, it marks the start of Officership, and heavy responsibilities. Are you for it?

Just as i was hitching a ride home from a friend's dad last night, we passed by an accident scene. The picture of a body covered over by a plastic sheet and a badly smashed motorbike beside it, still lingered around my memory. It's another fatal bike accident. Any takers for bike lessons with me?

A friend of mine asked me if i do miss home when i'm back in camp. Deep inside, i believe whenever i'm in camp, i do yearn to be back home. But.. Do i miss my family or it's just a case of going back home, so that i get more sleep, and zero trainings? My mum made a remark last night, i suppose unintentionally, saying that why i come back home since i'll be booking in back again in less than a day.

Despite not really paying much attention to my mum when my eyes are glued on to my laptop, somehow that line went deep into my ears. I understood what she meant, yet i felt something about it. Maybe i should have just volunteered for duties and stay in camp instead? Even more so now, especially after i pissed someone off last night.

"If anything can go wrong, it will." How true does it get?

Nevertheless, life still goes on.

Lately, i noticed my friends around me seemed to having their own set of unhappiness or worries. May isn't a good month? Or somehow i magnified it due to the fact that i'm sick and tired of army and coincidentally my friends shared with me their problems around this period of time.

With my close to pronounce dead-brain i have at the moment, i'm not really able to provide any good solid advice if you guys do happened to be sharing some thoughts with me. And like i mentioned donkey years ago, advice is worthless, what matters most is what you perceive and what you desire.

So to my friends out there, regardless of what problems, anxieties or worries you might have, try not to stay at it for too long. Always fall back to what you wanted or desire initially, what may seems far off from what you expected, may just be a deceiving mist from your actual goal. What may hurts you most, may just be what helps you the most.

At the end of the day, i bet everyone just want to have a happy and enjoyable day. The power to overcome difficulties is the true measure of how well you lead your life. And by any measures, i suppose mine ain't that great yet. But still, it doesn't mean it will always be, even though i love to quote, "Has been and will always be.", and anyway, who preaches what he said. It's always the case of say and no action.

My friends were asking me along for a Bangkok trip some time this June. And i swear that if i'm able to make it, i'll definitely go for it. I need to unwind myself. So fingers crossed, i hope we are able to fix on a period of time whereby i'm having my leave after Service term and in the convenience of them as well.

As for now, i'm only 45 minutes away from book in. And i'm still having trouble uploading a new song for my blog. Shall leave it unchanged till my next book out. Time to pack my bags and that's all for this post.

Till then.

BGR

First and foremost, i have to clarify that i'm definitely no way and by no means an expert in the game of BGR. All that i've mentioned in the previous post is just pure opinions of mine and if any case, they were just what i've observed, seen, or heard from.

So before my blog becomes something like a BGR forum for discussion, whereby people make posts waiting for some gurus to reply, i've to make clear that my posts are just purely opinion-based, with no or little supporting evidence or enough life experience for a start. In short, just read and forget. If it's appealing and make some sense to you, simply quote and unquote.

Alright, back to track on the hot topic; BGR. Based on the comments prior to the previous post, i can see that despite the few points i've mentioned, there are still many other factors to be considered when it comes to judging how good a guy is, for a boyfriend material.

Then again, i suppose it doesn't really matter how or what a guy has to be, in order to be considered as potential boyfriend, cause at the end of the day, there's no 10 year series model answers to it. More than often, we are drilled into our brains with lines like, "no one is perfect", "to love is to give" and etc, and as a result, we often try to compromise and compromising might just be a denial of situations, which will inevitably come crashing down on either party, some day, some time.

As i was discussing with a friend, i came out with another thought; the idea of most people usually settle for the one who's most available at that moment.

For example, you befriended this particular guy on Monday, and within 3 days, on Thursday, he became your partner. Yet on Friday, you cross path with another guy, and this guy according to the mandate or destiny or whatever you call it, is the supposedly perfect guy for you. But because of the guy you chose on Monday, you never befriend the Friday guy.

So now's the question of did you make the right choice, is the guy you chose the right guy, or should i blame on the fact that no one is able to foresee what lies ahead?

Well, in this particular scenario, i suppose you can't say what's right and what's wrong ain't it. It's just a case of whoever is available first, and whoever came first. No doubt you can always argue if one did not choose the Monday guy, the Friday guy may never come at all too. And you might just end up missing out on the "2nd best guy".

Monday to Friday may seems to be rather short, but you can just simply multiply it to months or years, and the point would still be the same. The fact is that since no one can foresee what's coming for us, what lies ahead, should one be so concerned about who and what his/her partner is?

Even the best guy you know may turn out to be a monster when you start living with him. Or when it comes to the crunch, will the guy who understands and loves you the most be still rock solid, standing there for you? Since there's no answers to all these, maybe, just maybe one should just go with the flow.

But of course this is not to encourage random BGR. The bottom line is simple. Know a guy well enough on your own, before he makes you learn more about him, in a not so nice manner.

And even when you think you have known him well enough, think again. Cause even you yourself can't assure your own faithfulness, your kindness, especially against the time factor, what makes you think others could?

That's all for this post before i need to rush back to camp again. Wanted to post more about my trainings and stuff, but i suppose not many are really interested in army stuff. It's always revolves around the same things. But i decided to make this post in case i don't get to book out this coming weekend due to live firing on Sunday. Saturday is polling day though, hope we get to book out on Friday night. If not, this shall be the post for the next 2 weeks.

Till then.

Quick Post

Got an question with regards to BGR, and the plot goes like this:

2 guys of different personality. One was willing not to buy his own thing even when his hp is on the verge of dying and spend the money on you. The other is one who always say his hand are tight but in fact the money he has use it to buy his own things such as MP3 and etc.

So, being a guy who do you think is a better guy?

Having read this, i'm pretty sure 99.9% would have unanimously agreed that the former is a better boyfriend. Someone who's willing to sacrifice, willing to give, how bad can he be right? And so, my question to you all would be that, does this factor determines how good he is entirely?

To me, how good a guy is will depends on how and what you are looking at. The guy who may have been nicer when it comes to money, may be the one who probably gonna cheat on you. Yet the guy who's more self-centered when it comes to money, may be the one who in fact loves you the most. Sounds confusing or that i'm going in circles?

My point is simple. Look at the bigger picture of things. Just take a good look at our own fingers. Is it all of the same length? And does it mean that since my index finger is shorter than yours, my thumb is bound to be shorter too?

In this particular situation, i'm proposed to judge 2 personalities based on the factor of money. You can also argue that why do the latter have to always claim to be broke, and yet able to afford stuff and gadgets for himself, and for this, he's probably a liar by heart? And a good guy shouldn't lie ain't it?

Given the fact about this 2 particular guys, let me propose something in conjunction with this particular money issue. Would you be more touched by the guy who is always willing to sacrifice getting stuff for himself which he should have, just to be able to afford stuff for you, or be more surprised knowing that the guy who always claim to be broke, suddenly stopped getting stuff for himself, just to let you have the luxury of owning things you wanted?

To each his own. Some gals might never felt it's important for her guy to be always getting stuff for her, all that matters is the love given to her. Yet some could just be a little materialistic, and all that matters is how much her guy is willing to give.

Before i start to digress too much, the answer to the question would be rather easy. Just ask yourself, given the fact that you know this 2 particular guys, how would you see the both of them? The former is giver, and the latter is a taker?

I came across 2 quotes and maybe they could be of some good reference:

"The measure of love is when you love without measure. - In life there are very rare chances that you'll meet the person you love and loves you in return. So once you have it don't ever let it go, the chance might never come your way again."

"It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride. - We spend too much time looking for the right person to love or finding fault with those we already love, when instead we should be perfecting the love we give."

So in my humble opinion, i'll pick the former as a better guy. Reason for that? To give is a lot tougher than to take. But on the high note, don't just judge someone based on a particular fact. Staring at the digit '6' on the die all the time, would have made you ignorant about the fact that dice have six sides, not just one.

Bottom line to BGR, what matters to you most, may just be what doesn't concern him/her most. What you expect most, is often what he/she expects least. What you hope for, might just be what he/she ain't looking for. And lastly, who and what you perceive he/she is, may just be what he/she is not.

Before i wrap this post up, let me just do a few paragraphs about my trainings so far.

Had a 4 day 3 night outfield over at Tekong as mentioned before, and it was something that drained quite a bit out of everyone. The extreme situations of unwanted heavy downpours and the overwhelming humid weather took quite a toll too.

The fieldcamp started with a 4km fast march, with FBO(Full Battle Order) from the jetty to our harbour site. And i'm super lucky enough to be the one assigned to carry Law tube as my secondary weapon on top of SAR 21. Speaking about Law tube, it's something i often hear from the rest, that how bulky and useless it is to be carrying it. And trust me, the only thing that saved me from have multiple concussions due to the constant swinging of the Law tube from the back, was the helmet i had.

Day 1 was navigation under instructor guidance and this fateful navigation earned my section a 2-hour late book out and a confinement. Not sure if it's gonna be enforced on us, but that's how we were told. Reason being that we didn't get our basics right and we took too many stops when we are on the move to the checkpoints.

Day 2 was navigation without supervision and all the sections were split into 2 groups. My group of 3 came in first for the whole wing, after 3 day checkpoints and 2 night checkpoints. And for this we kinda redeemed ourselves in a way, and earned 100 merit points, which can be accumulated and use for nights-out, day-off or canteen breaks and such.

Day 3 was entirely on section movement drills and night ambush. Of course my section was once again the victim of scrutiny. Our Platoon Commander said our section is probably the worst and is performing under-par. He also warned us that he wouldn't hesitate to put 7 of us out of course if he has to, if we do not show better performance. It's hard to explain why he felt that my section is not performing over here, but it's just a case of blacksheeps around in the section.

Day 4 was the Section Battle course where 2 of us held Section Commander roles and was assessed for the section movement drills taught to us. Once again, it wasn't that well done. But we got it over with and the last 4km fast march back to Tekong jetty under extreme hot weather almost knocked out some of them.

The outfield ended with numerous scars on my hand and bruises all over my knees. And before i could really start complaining about it, i'll be having another fieldcamp this coming Thursday and Friday at Marsiling. Time is definitely something not our side. The whole of last week, including the fieldcamp, i never had sleeps over 4 hours. And of course, my cough is still hanging around.

I need longer weekends, hopefully able to hang out with friends just to unwind myself. Not gonna be easy especially looking at my training program, i'll be occupied all the way to June, even over my birthday. The only thing i can hope for is lesser weekends burn-out due to trainings on Saturday.

17th June, my social night. But i know i'm gonna have trouble finding a gal for the night. Guess i'll just have to be thick-skinned enough asking around when the time comes.

Alright, that's all i have. Hope everyone is doing well and fine. Haven't been in contact with friends for some time. My social circle is shrinking at quite a fast rate. Before i know it, maybe it's gonna be me, myself and jeri.

Till then.

Small Talks

Procrastinate - To put off doing something, especially out of habitual carelessness or laziness.

Been stumbling upon this word lately as i went around blog-hopping and it seems like everyone into this bad habit. Inevitably, i'm guilty of it as well. Haven't done anything constructive for the past 2 days, even though i do have quite of stuff to be completed.

First and foremost, army stuff. Need to complete a weekend assignment given by one of our instructors. Homework by the army, who can ever imagine one has to complete an assignment while serving National Service? And not to mention it's not a choice of whether get it done or not, especially with extra duties and confinements as threats.

Secondly, to get my boots polished. My name was taken down during a uniform inspection for the OCS Commandant's Parade on the 24th, just before i book out on Thursday. Managed to pass the standard for my uniform but was held back by my boots. I still remembered during one of our many lectures 2 weeks ago, one of the external lecturer was telling us how PM Lee as a cadet in OCS during his National Service, changed the system after he brought home his boots to polish and his mother called and complained about it.

So why do we still have to polish our boots now? I find it fake and meaningless to make a pair of boots so shiny, simply for the fact that it defeats the purpose of having black boots for tactical reasons in jungles. Might as well issue soldiers white boots if you want it to be shiny. Nevertheless, i'm not Prime Minister or anything of that sort to get my opinions across, thus my boots still have to be polish-shine and i can only whine about it.

Let me digress a bit about Prime Minister Lee's cadet story during his OCS days. I believe most of you guys ain't aware that his son happened to be a cadet right now in OCS. Same batch as me, the 63/06 Delta, Foxtrot, Sierra, Tango intake. Delta being the famous scholar Wing, you can expect them to have a slightly better time, with the presence of the "whitehorse".

So as the external lecturer start sharing with us about PM Lee's boots story, everyone made a ho-ha, especially those in Delta wing. They all started turning and looking at him and was sorta telling him to complain about this and that, hoping that he would help change the system. And at the end of the lecture, the lecturer was curious about the commotion and asked why was everyone so excited when he mentioned about PM Lee.

That's when everyone unanimously pointed out to him PM Lee's son but of course prior to it, he have no clue about PM Lee's son was in the cohort, sitting right in the auditorium. I bet he must be quite relieved that he didn't mention anything bad about PM Lee. So much about not bad-mouthing anyone, cause you never know where Murphy is lurking around.

Sidetracking again, speaking about Murphy's Law, i was reading up some of Murphy's Laws and i came upon some interesting ones. So might as well, i'll share some over here.

Murphy's Law
1. If anything can go wrong, it will.
2. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
3. Every solution breeds new problems.

Murphy's Love Law
1. All the good ones are taken.
2. If the person isn't taken, there's a reason.
3. The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them.
4. Money can't buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.
5. Nice guys (girls) finish last.
6. The good ones die first.
7. If it seems too good to be true, it probably is.
8. Availability is a function of time. The minute you get interested is the minute they find someone else.
9. Before you find your handsome prince, you've got to kiss a lot of frogs.

Murphy's War Law
1. Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.
2. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
when they're ready.
when you're not.
3. Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.
4. If the enemy is within range, so are you.
5. Tracers work both ways.

All sounds true ain't it? In fact most philosophers find Murphy's Law as fundamentals. Maybe i should come out with Law's Law some time to come.

Alright back to my main subject of discussion; things to be done.

Thirdly, I should have made full use of this rare long weekend to continue with my motorbike lesson. I'm simply too lazy and my bike khaki isn't too keen on it too. But i'm yearning for a bike every time i came across my dream bike Yamaha R1-2005. It's pretty hard for me to be taking lesson every week i book out too, simply for the fact that i might not be able to book out due to some unforeseen confinements or weekend outfield and such. Just hope that i'll be able to get my license and bike some time before the end of this year.

Lastly, shopping spree for myself. Been aiming for some stuff but have yet to go and hunt them down. I need to give myself some good treats before i start becoming emo and whiny yet again. So people reading out there, don't be surprise i start playing Santa yet again.

I'm still having slight cough, sore throat and flu, and i'm not really doing favour to myself by eating chocolates and not drinking enough water.

After lazing for the whole of yesterday's afternoon, i dragged myself out of house around evening time. I did something i never done before, and that's to shop around NTUC for an hour. Thus that's where i saw the new appealing Oreo Wafer Sticks, bought and finished them up way before i had my dinner.

Being a newbie to shop around supermarket alone, i walked around 4-5 rounds before i finally managed to get all the stuff i wanted. The fabric starch and shoe kiwi gave me a hard time hunting for them. Other than that, sweets and cup-noodles are pretty much no-brainer for me to get them.

Perhaps for the last 10 weeks, having stayed in Australia for 3 weeks, confined in OCS SAFTI MI for 3 weeks, and a couple of weeks of running around camps, civilian world seems to have changed quite abit. Not to mention some places have changed quite abit. AMK Central has never been so new to me until yesterday. I bet some of you might be thinking i'm crazy to say AMK Central is something appealing. I think so too.

Nevertheless, as i was taking my own sweet time strolling to a confectionary to get some bread and cakes home for my parents after my NTUC trip, i happened to come across few couples. I don't know why or how, somehow all the 3 couples i saw were in the midst of some arguments. And in most cases, i'll see the male being the fiercer, dominant one, leaving the female tearing away. I'll leave this for individuals to reflect upon it.

Time for dinner now. Been at this for the past 1 hour and so. And also after getting comments and remarks about always having long posts, with the help of Microsoft word count, i realised my posts do reached up to 1,400 words at time and easily over 500 words. This post itself is already almost close to 1,300 words. Alright, i shall stop here and procrastinate further until i deemed fit.

Till then.

Happy Easter Day

Thanks to Good Friday, i managed to get this long awaited LWE(Long Weekend). But on the other side of it, i'm pretty much stuck at home with no programs, here typing away this post and i've got a slight bad throat. Just don't wish to waste this weekends away, but if all things fail, i'll just spend these few days resting at home. So much about yearning for book-outs, yet there's nothing much to do.

Alright, just a quick update about my last 4 days in camp. I went for M203, Matador, SAW, SAR21 familiarization live shooting last Monday and Wednesday. 2 incidents happened and 1 of which almost caused me to be in serious trouble. Would have probably being charged for that, but thank god, i managed to got through it. Won't be able to mention it over here, but it's something serious enough to place me in DB(Detention Barrack). Need to be extra careful not to commit the same mistake ever again.

Had my IPPT Test on the Wednesday morning. Probably the best result i ever had since entering army. Managed to achieve all maximum 5 points for the 4 static stations(Sit-ups, Chin-ups, Shuttle run and Standing Board Jump), but only managed to clock 10:30mins for my 2.4km. Hope to achieve gold in the next IPPT.

Will be heading back to Tekong next Tuesday for a 4 day 3 night section fieldcamp. A fieldcamp whereby all the craps will start falling out. Especially my section whereby there's conflict among 2 guys and my section happened to be the worst section in the Wing in terms of IPPT, with 4 failures, 2 gold and 1 silver.

We will be assigned and allocated with weapons like SAW, M203 other than our primary SAR21, according to our roles in the section and that's when misfiring with blank rounds and such will occur. Fingers crossed, just hope nothing happen.

Just as i'm fretting where and what to do for today, it's raining cats and dogs now. Shall take the opportunity for a short nap. In the meantime, any takers for chillout today or tomorrow?

Till then.

Dumb and dumber

Finally the 3 weeks are over and after 461 hours in SAFTI OCS, i was released at 1400hrs yesterday. And the most irritating thing was that i had to wait for almost 45 mins before i managed to flag down an empty cab back home. Time now 1425hrs, 3 hours later i'll have to head back to camp again. How no life can it get.

Life in OCS can be interesting yet stupid. Interesting being that as an Officer-to-be, one has to learn to take up responsibilities. Initiative has to be display most of the time. There won't be so much spoon-feeding and that one has to admit his mistake and be prepared to be punish for it. Having weekend extra duties or confinements is something an Officer Cadet has to be mentally prepared for. And for this, that's where the stupid part comes into play.

For my current 63/06 batch, majority of them are '87 JC students. 2 years my junior and of course smarter than me in many ways. Many said that JC students tend to be very vocal and likes to challenge orders or instructions. Well, to a certain extend it's quite true. But nonetheless, whether or not they are really are a bunch of hard to handle cadets, the good thing is that they tend to draw away much of the attention to them, which is a good thing for poly students like me.

Trainings are pretty hectic for the past 3 weeks, especially with lectures and PT exercises all sardine-packed in the daily program. There are also tonnes of endurance runnings, easily 4-8km per run. Heard it's going to increase gradually to 21km in time to come. And of course as the trainings goes, the tough gets tougher too.

Had a late sleep this morning around 4am, and i woke up pretty early around 11am with tonnes of thoughts in mind. Not to mention i wasted $23 for skipping my bike lesson.

Just as i start backtracking all the highlights i had for the past 1 year, i start to see myself not so myself now. Like what my title suggested, i felt dumber as i go along. Not so much on the intellectual side, it's more conceptual wise. The constant questioning of what am i doing right now, will always be reminding me that i need to get something done or at least have a clear state of mind what i'm doing.

Last night i was trying hard to glaze up the sky searching for the orange glowing star which will be pointing towards the North, a familiar sight back in Australia. But the sky was pretty cloudy i suppose, and i could barely see any stars hanging around. With my failing memory, i can't recall what's the name for the stars formation now.

As i'm trying hard to type this post out, i realised i'm short of words to continue. The distant feeling seems to be overwhelming. For now, i shall end with a quote i came across:

"Effort and courage are not enough without purpose and direction."

-Edited-
Managed to catch some winks and had to drag myself out of bed to pack my stuff and prepare myself to book in soon. Time now 1730hrs. Time is really not on my side and this is what i will have to learn to adapt for the upcoming 8 months. Appetite was poor for the whole day. Didn't finish up my lunch and i only ate some mouthful noodles moments ago.

Shall look forward to this Thursday night book out and enjoy a slightly longer weekend. Other than that, i felt stoned.
-Edited-

So long and good night

Had a tough time packing my stuff today having to dig out all the green stuff. Nothing much to type for this post, just a quick goodbye to all my blog readers before i head off to SAFTI MI OCS, in 8 hours time.

As i could smell the tough trainings ahead, i just hope that i managed to come back in a piece. Like what a friend of mine said, we are off to the Under 21 soccer training. Yah right, we are obviously just kidding ourselves. How i wish that was the case. On a serious note, i'm missing my soccer days back in secondary time. It's something time can withstand. Unlike love, fame or glory. Speaking about soccer, i'm eyeing the new England away red jersey. Hope it doesn't cost a bomb.

If everything goes well, i'll be blogging again when i'm back on the 8th of April, after 3 weeks of mandatory confinement. I will also be looking forward to my Class 2B lesson 2 on the 9th. Enjoyed my first lesson yesterday, and i can't wait to get my own bike in time to come. Having tried out motorbiking myself, i do agree that it's dangerous. Considering a 125cc bike is already quite heavy and i almost crash twice, but i managed to dump the bike aside and wasn't hurt at all. Speaking about valuing one's life? I don't think so.

Alright that's all i have. Emptiness fill me. Till then.

What lies beneath

Sometimes you ponder over something and you questioned the rationale to it. So if you thought you might just have understood what i'm trying to say to you or that i've done for you, try this:

Multiply by infinity, take it to the depth of forever and you will still have bare glimpse of what i'm talking about.

Thou shall not be

She said, "Some days I feel like shit, some days i wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit."

I don't understand why you have to always be gone, i get along but the trips always feel so long, and, i find myself tryna stay by the phone, cause your voice always helps me when i feel so alone.

But i feel like an idiot, working my day around the call. But when i pick up i don't have much to say, so, i want you to know it's a little fucked up, that i'm stuck here waiting, at times debating, telling you that i've had it with you.

Shit, i find myself just filling my time, anything to keep the thought of you from my mind. I'm doing fine, i plan to keep it that way, you can call me if you find you have something to say, and i'll tell you i'm fucked up.

I want you to know it's fucked up, that i'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating, tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses. For while you're not around, and feeling so useless, it seems one thing has been true all along.

You don't really know what you got until it's gone, i guess i've had it with you!

Replacement Lover

I had a chat with a friend of mine last night and she was basically into the topic of being a replacement of someone. A replacement who sacrificed time and school just to be a replacement for someone. Probably there's more than just that, for the very fact that it's often the case that you will do almost anything for that someone you fancy. More than often, when you are not needed as accompany, you are basically alone and left sulking at your own pitiful state. That's when you start to question your own value and ponder over the need to be just a replacement.

There is the show Replacement Killer, how about Replacement Lover? It's probably the highest box office sold out movie, which is playing everyday in our daily lives.

A plot whereby someone who you without knowing came into your normal routine life and created a big impact. Someone whom you start to realize that he/she has been into some relationship problems. You started paying more attention to the person's sorrows and lend more than just a listening ear to him/her. As time passed, you inevitably become very conscious of the person's whereabouts, and tend to worry doubly for him/her when you see him/her do stupid things to him/herself, like drinking overly, skipping meals, isolating and getting into trouble.

You start to spend more time with the person, hoping to provide some company and drive away some unwanted thoughts from him/her. You might even act like a clown, buying anything he/she joked about getting it, constant reminding him/her to have regular meals, go drinking with him/her even when you can't hold your liquor well, neglecting your studies, work, family and friends, all just to be someone there for the person. And that's without knowing falling for the person.

The person will then inevitably starts to rely quite a lot on you. He/she will be expecting you to be always there for him/her, doing all the reminding of stuff, and of course to accompany him/her. Despite the fact that it may appears to be quite an unwanted act to do, you will be more than happy to be just who he/she wanted you to be. You wouldn't mind if it's skipping of school just to accompany him/her for 5-10 minutes because he wanted to get something for his/her partner, or waited for hours just because he/she was held up with his/her partner and your heart melt and forgave him/her for the long wait, because he/she came with a sad look and you know you wouldn't want to be petty about the wait but instead be more concern about what happened to him/her.

No matter how boring the movie it is, you will enjoy it as long as you're watching it with him/her. No matter how bored you are just to sit down and watch him/her playing something which doesn't interest you, you will still do it. No matter how tired you are, you will still put up a sober front just to be able to accompany him/her for a longer period of time. No matter how broke you are, you will still find means and ways so as not to restrict yourself from not seeing him/her just because you are broke. No matter how fierce or the amount of vulgarities hurled out, indirectly/directly at you, you will never get offended. No matter how difficult or tiring it is to get something for him/her, you will get it by hook or by crook. No matter what, as long as it involves him/her, you will be there.

When the table is turned around, he/she will never be there for you. Even if he/she does, it's often the case of just some simple consoling words which even though you knew it's just something to buy you off, you will still be comforted because it came from him/her. When you are alone and hope to head out for some fun, 8 out of 10 times, he/she will not be available, reason being that he/she is with their partner. When you gave him/her advice with regards to their relationship which even though appears to be not a worthy relationship, you get rebuked because he/she felt that you don't know what true love is all about and that you are not him/her, thus you can never understand. Despite getting hurt for things he/she did or say to you, you will not show your emotions out, all just because you wouldn't want to be the second burden to him/her.

The on and off fair weather treatment you get for falling with him/her, will eventually come to an end someday. And the outcome would be you are still who you are, and he/she will either get over the rough patch with his/her partner and continue with the relationship, or he/she will be with someone who came out of nowhere. At the end of the day, you felt cheated and yet you wouldn't blame on him/her or anything else, because you felt it's something you chose, and you will not live with regrets to it.

The movie came to an end with the audience feeling sad for the replacement lover. Some might deemed the replacement as someone stupid, whereas some might feel he/she is someone noble and giving. Whichever it is, the movie Replacement Lover is playing everyday in our routine lives. It could be you, your friend or someone you heard of.

Just like reading this post, you might not feel anything because you weren't once a replacement, the "Replacement Lover" movie might just be something you never really understand. But it's good thing though, because it's something no one will want to experience it. And if you think being a Replacement Lover is the worse you can get, try watching "Replacement's Replacement Lover", and that's when you will truly understand how fortune it is to be loved by someone than to love someone.

Till then.