How to irritate people in the cinema

1. During the trailers, shout, "Fast forward! Fast forward!"

2. Wear a very tall hat.

3. When people come in late, say "Orrrrrhhhh" very loudly.

4. During opening credits... point at a character and say loudly, "He dies at the end."

5. After every gunshot, scream "take cover!" and hit the floor.

6. Use a laser pointer and point the beam at the screen, especially at character's private parts. not bad an idea eh

7. Go "tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk" loudly at every kissing scene.

8. Throw popcorn in the air and yell, "It's snowing! It's snowing!"

9. Clap and cheer whenever one of the good guys gets killed.

10. Urge everyone in the cinema to start a Mexican wave.

11. During love scenes, say loudly in Mandarin, "Ngggh! Bu yao, ma!" ("Don't!")

12. During horror movies, keep singing the theme to "Jaws" (dum dum? dum dum? dum dum dum dum dum dum?)

13. Sit on old people, pretending not to know they are there.

14. Go to an afternoon screening. Go out of your way to sit next to the only other person in the cinema. Smile at him/her suggestively. (Recommended: waggle your eyebrows for added effect.)

15. Repeat all dialogue ten seconds after it's said on screen.

16. Bring in durians for your movie snack.

17. Or bring in a bowl of noodle soup, and slurp it up loudly.

18. During a sensitive scene, stand up and say loudly, "I go shee-shee now, can?"

19. Eat the snacks of the person sitting next to you. can you imagine that!!

20. Lick the person sitting next to you.

Silly??

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on the road...

Girl: Slow down. Im scared.

Guy: No this is fun.

Girl: No its not. Please, its too scary!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.

*Girl hugs him*

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? Its bugging me...

.
.
.
.
.

(In the paper the next day):

A motorcycle had crashed into a building because of brake failure.
2 people were on it, but only 1 survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes broke down, but he didn't want to let the girl know.

Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug 1 last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.

Would you do this for someone??

White Chicks soundtrack..

Hey guys... if you all happen to watch White Chicks..
Rmb the cool song at the end of the movie when the credits are shown?
I managed to got it and its now playing....
Enjoy~

jerichoPanda



took tis when i was slping...
zzZZzzzzZzzz

Unmistaken Truth

I had always fall in love with my best friend but I never told him.
Maybe it was because I was too shy or maybe because it was just me.
Maybe it was just me.
Well we had been living together ever since we finished university.
We had been best friends ever since we were small.
Oh what great memories they were.

We told secrets to each other and almost anything because we trusted each other. Well this afternoon Alex came rushing into living room and closed the door lightly. He looked so happy and kneeled down on the ground.
He suddenly saw me and screamed with joy.
He stood up and ran to hug me tightly.
I gasped as I was running out of breath.
He kept hugging and then turned his head to face mine and kissed me against my lips hard.

After a minute or so, he let go and started jumping in the air with joy.

I took a deep breath and wiped my mouth as I asked him,
"What happened today? You know, you can't kiss me all the time whenever you feel sad or happy. People are going to think we are a couple!"

He pops onto the couch and grabbed an apple to eat, "Who cares what other people think?"

I slapped his thigh and sat beside him, "Well I do!"

He took a bite out of the apple and handed it over to me, "Oh come on Vicki! I mean you don't lose anything right? It's not like I am super duper ugly to match a beauty like you! Here take a bite!"

"True but still. Well you are not going to get a girlfriend if people see you kissing me!"

Alex took the apple and kept eating it, "If no one wants me, then you will have me then!"

"Yes, sure! Like I want a dummy like you! Well end of that subject! Tell me what happened today! Usually you kiss me because you are happy or sad about something. You don't look sad so it must be good!"

He stared at me , "You sure do know me well Vicki!"

I played with his hair, "Well no duh! I been living with you for years! I even feel like your wife or your lover!" I said laughing.

He smiled, "Well there are two good news! One of them is DAD AND MOM ARE COMING HOME SOON! Can you believe THAT? I can't! I can't wait to tell them all the good news! Oh man! I even told them that I have a girlfriend and is going to propose to her too!" He said laughing and blushing and started jumping around with joy again.

I jumped up as well too, "What REALLY? Aunty and Uncle are coming back?? You got to be kidding! They said they were going to visit around the world though! They are already finished! That's fast!"

He rubbed my head, "Well it is a small world! Don't listen to geography! You little bookworm! You are finished school remember!"

I gave him a whatever look, "Yes so what did you say before after you are going to tell them the good news? What is the second good news too?" I said as I was rubbing back his hair.

He started running away, "I told them I have a girlfriend and I am going to propose to her!"

I stopped right where I was when he said that and blushed, "Who said I am going to marry you?"

He stopped where he was as well, "Oh of course you are!" He walked up to me and took out a small red box. He kneeled down and said, "Will you Vicki, make me the happiest man on earth? Will you marry me?"

My heart was filled with flutter and was about to say yes and hug him when he suddenly closed the box and stood back up.

He laughed like crazy, "If only Ruby rejects me though! Woah! You should have seen your face! You looked like you were going to say yes."

I felt my heart rip apart when he said that.
I wanted to burst into tears but I held them back.
He had a girlfriend already and was going to propose to her.
He didn't even tell me he had one.

I stood there staring at the ground blankly.
Alex suddenly touched my shoulder, "Hey Vicki! Are you there? Come on! I was only playing with you! You know our relationship is just like Good brothers and sisters!"

Another reason for my heart to break apart.
All these years, he was now only saying we were only good brother and sister.
I could really feel my eyes sting but I still held them back.
I came back and stared back at him and punched him lightly in the shoulder.

"You actually believed I was going to take your ring! Che! Give me a break Alex! Of course our relationship is only brother and sister!"
Every word I said stung my heart.
I pretended to look happy and laugh.

"So who is this Ruby?"

"Ruby? Oh you don't remember her? She was also your best friend in high school! You forgot already?" Alex said questioning.

"Ruby LIN? The school prom queen with Nic? How did you guys end up together?" I asked.

"Oh that is such a long story. Remember I said before, I always had a crush but I never said who it was because you wouldn't tell me yours? Well it is Ruby and I just saw her a year ago. I told you to come with me sometimes but you always said you were busy. When you are free, she was busy. So I guess things get messed up! When I saw her again, I had fell in love with her again. I so want to marry her right now!" Alex said happily daydreaming in his mind.

I sat back on the couch quietly and stared at the blank television as I was shock to hear what I just heard.
Alex continued to talk from his heart.
"The second good news is that I plan to propose to her tonight after dinner."
I clutched onto a pillow and held onto it tightly.
Alex walked behind Vicki and started tickling her, "Hey are you listening!"

I shaked my head and smiled at him, "Yes you and Ruby ah mah. Ruby this Ruby that! Why wouldn't I know. My lovely best friend from highschool who stole my first crush. Why wouldn't I remember her? But I am happy for you! You actually found someone you love!"

Alex laughed, "really? Oh come on Vicki! Get it over! She probably doesn't want it to happen!"

I stood back up and laughed lightly, "Well why don't you get dress better so you can look better for your big night!"

Alex suddenly lightened up, "Oh yes! I forgot about that!" He quickly ran into his room and changed.

*************************************************************

Few hours later...

A doorbell was heard.
It was Ruby looking enchanting as before. She stood there and came inside giving me a hug. "Vicki! It's been such a long time we seen each other! How are you?"

I smiled, "I am fine! So how did you and Nic break up?"

Ruby looked a bit sad, "are you still mad about me because Nic was with me instead of you? Well I want to tell you one thing Vicki! Nic and I are step brother and sister. We were never boyfriend, girlfriend. I told you to believe me but you wouldn't. In fact you started to hate me. I am sorry about not telling you earlier."

My eyes started to water because not of what she said, it was what Alex said before. I hugged her and Alex came into the room.

"Ruby!" Alex said happily.

Ruby let go of me and ran over to Alex and hugged him. Tears kept streaming down as I watched them hug each other. I quickly wiped them and said, "Hey it is starting to get late! If you guys don't go then you won't be able to go!"

Ruby tugged my sleeve and smiled, "Why don't you come along with us Vicki? So you won't get lonely!" She looked at Alex and Alex shrugged, "Yes Sure! Come along Vicki! We are planning to go to our favorite bar!"

I opened my eyes widely, "the one with my favourite mango slush?"

Alex laughed, "Yes! So are you coming?" Ruby laughed as well, "You two seem like a nice couple!" Alex said, "We would be but..." he put his arm around her shoulder, "you are here and I love you!"

I put a hand between their faces, "Okay save the sweet talk for later. A mango slush is waiting for me!" I quickly ran out of the door.

**************************************************************

At The Bar...

Instead of ordering my favorite mango slush, I ordered a beer.
I think I wanted a beer more than a slush.
I want to forget what had happened today.
It was just too much for me. I had a beer after another.
When I saw Alex kneeling down on the ground, and Ruby screaming with joy.

I quickly gulped down another bottle.
I slammed the bottle on the counter and asked for another.
Soon I was pretty much drunk.

Alex and Ruby were hugging each other as they walked over to me. Alex shaked me, "Vicki, it's time to go!"

I looked around and saw Alex, "Oh Alex! Did you ever know? I loved you for such a long time but no!" I waved the bottle at him. "You just have to say that we are brothers and sisters. And then you just have to say that you are going for Ruby a friend who stole the person I loved before you. Now great! You guys are getting married!"

Ruby gasped. Alex opened his mouth wide and held Vicki together, "You are drunk! Ok let's go home!"

I shook him off, "Why? Why is it so hard to love? Have I done something to not deserve love." I looked at Alex with teary eyes, "I been with you for 20 years ever since we were 5 year olds. You never loved me? Why not? WHY?"

Alex quickly grabbed my arm went outside. Ruby followed from behind. I suddenly felt sick in the stomach and held onto a pole and barfed on the ground. After five minutes, I stood in front of Ruby and Alex who were comforting each other. Alex suddenly saw me and walked to me.

"Oh ok Vicki, I know you were just kidding back there but that's ok," Alex said with a little smile. "Please tell me you were kidding."

I stared at Ruby who was in the middle of the street picking up her scarf which had blown off by the wind.
Suddenly there was a fast racing car coming by.
I quickly ran over and pushed Ruby aside.
The car hitted my slim body hard and sent me flying in the air.

As I fell to the ground, I saw a beam of bright light in front of me.
Alex screamed my name as was running to me when another racing car came running toward me and rolled on top of me.

I couldn't feel my legs and body anymore. Blood was gushing out of my mouth and my wounds. Ruby who fell and injured her leg when I pushed her cried, "VICKI NO!" She crawled over to me with Alex holding me in his arms.

"Vicki! You are going to be okay! Okay!" Alex said. He screamed to other people who were around. "CALL FOR AN AMBULANCE DAMN IT! NO VICKI you are going to make it!"

"Vicki I AM SO TERRIBLY SORRY!" Ruby cried as tears were streaming down her face.

I smiled a weak smile as more blood gushed out, "I wouldn't want Alex to have a bloody bride right!" I squinted in pain as I felt my heart starting to stop.
I looked at Alex with all I can and touched his face, "What I just said when I was drunk, was true. I do love you Alex. I know you don't but that's ok. At least I know you know now but I guess it is too late isn't it."
I squinted again.

Alex started to have tears in his eyes, "No Vicki. You are going to be alright! To tell you the truth Vicki, I do love you too. See this locket." He opened a locket in his necklace. It had a picture of him and me.

I smiled, "but not as much as Ruby." I gasped and I started to see darkness. My eyelids were starting to close and I whispered my last words, "Thank you Alex. I guess this is all an unmistaken truth."

Alex screamed, "NO VICKI!" he hugged my dead body and cried. Ruby hugged him to comfort him. He lastly stared at my dead face and kissed me for the last time.

Another touching Love Story taken from the web.....

It all started when I was 6 years old.
While I was playing outside on my farm in California, I met a boy.
He was an average kind of boy who teased you and then you chased them and beat them up.
After that first meeting in which I beat him up, we kept on meeting and beating each other up at the fence.
That only lasted for a little while though.
We would meet at the fence all the time and we were always together.

I would tell him all my secrets.
He was very quiet and he would just listen to what I had to say.
I found him easy to talk to and I could talk to him about everything.
In school we had separate friends but when we got home we would always talk about what happened in school.
One day I said to him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke my heart.
He just comforted me and said everything would be okay.
He gave me words of encouragement and helped me get over him.
I was happy and thought of him as a real friend.
But I knew that there was something else about him that I liked.
I thought of it that night and figured it was just a friend kind of thing that I was feeling.

All through high school and even through graduation we're always together and of course I thought of it as being friends.
But I knew deep inside that I really felt differently.
On graduation night even though we had different dates to the prom I wanted to be with him.
That night after everybody went home, I went to his house and wanted to tell him that I wanted to see him.
Well, that night was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him watching the stars and talking about what I was going to do and what he was going to do.
I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about what his dream was. How he wanted to get married and settle down.
He said how he wanted to be rich and successful.
All I could do was to tell him my dream and cuddle next to him.

I went home hurting because I didn't tell him how I was feeling.
I wanted to tell him so bad that I loved him but I was too scared and frightened.
I let my feelings go and told myself that someday I would tell him just how I felt. All through college I wanted to tell him but he always had someone with him.
After graduation he got a job in New York, I was happy for him but at the same time I was sad to see him go.
I was sad also because I didn't tell him how I felt.
But I couldn't let him know now that he was leaving for his big job.
So I just kept it to myself and watched him go on the plane.
I cried as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last time.
I went home that night and cried my eyes out.
I felt hurt that I didn't tell him what I had inside my heart.

Well, I got a job as a secretary and then worked my way to a computer analyst.
I was proud of what I had accomplished.
One day I got a letter with an invitation to a marriage.
It was from him, I was happy and sad at the same time.
Now I know that I could never be with him and that we could only be friends.
I went to the wedding the next month.
It was a big occasion.
The big church wedding and the reception at the hotel.
I met the bride and of course him. I fell in love one more time.
But I held back so it wouldn't spoil what should be the happiest day in his life.
I tried to have fun that night but it was killing me inside watching him being so happy and me trying to be happy covering up my sadness tears inside of me.

I left New York feeling that I did the right thing.
Before I left on the flight, he came running out of nowhere and said his good-byes and how he was very happy to see me.
I came home and just tried to forget about what went on in New York.
I had to go on with my life.
As the years went on, we wrote to each other on what was going on and how he had missed talking to me.
On one occasion he never wrote back to me at all.
I was getting worried as to why he hadn't written anything for a long time after I had already written 6 letters to him.
Well, just when everything seemed hopeless and sad in my life, I got a note that said: "Meet me at the fence where we used to talk about things".
I went and saw him there.
I was happy to see him, but he was broken-hearted and sad inside.
We hugged until we couldn't breathe anymore.

Then he told me about the divorce and why he hadn't written for a long time.
He cried until he couldn't cry anymore.
Finally, we went back to the house and talked and laughed about what I had been going and to catch up on old times.
But in all of this, I couldn't tell him how I felt about him.
In the days that followed, he had fun and forgot about all his problem and his divorce.
I fell in love again with him.
When it came time for him to leave back to New York, I went to see him off and cried.
I hated to see him leave.
He promised to see me every time he could get a vacation.
I couldn't wait for him to come so I could be with him.
We would always have fun when we were together.

One day he didn't show up like he said he would.
I figured that he might have been busy.
The days turned into months and I just forgot about it.
Then I got a call one day from a lawyer in New York.
The lawyer said that he had died in a car accident going to the airport and that it took this long till everything was settled.
It broke my heart.
I was shocked about what took place.
Now I knew why he didn't come that day. Again, I was broken-hearted.
I cried that night, cried tears of sadness and heartache.
Asking questions why did this happen to a kind guy like him?

I gathered my things and went to New York for the reading of his will.
Of course, things were given to his family and his ex-wife.
I finally got to meet her since the last time we met at the wedding.
She explained to me how he was and how he always provided.
But he was always unhappy.
She would always try everything but she couldn't get him happy, as he was that night at their wedding.
When the will was read, the one thing that was given to me was a diary.
It was a diary that of his life.
I cried as it was given to me.
I didn't know what to think.
Why was this given to me?
I took it and flew back to California.
As I flew on the plane I remembered the good times that we had together.
I started reading the diary and what was written.

The diary was started with the day we first met.
I read on till I started to cry.
The diary told of him saying that he had fallen in love with me that day I was broken-hearted.
But he was too afraid to tell me what he had felt.
That is why he was so quiet and liked to listen to me.
It told of how he wanted to tell me so many times, but was too afraid to say anything.
It told of when he went to New York and fell in love with another.
How the happiest time he had was seeing me and dancing with me at the wedding.
He said he imagined it was our wedding.
How he was always unhappy till he had no choice but to divorce his wife.
How the best time in his life was to read the letters written to him by me.

Finally, the diary ended when it said, "Today I will tell her I love her".
It was the day he was killed.
The day I was going to finally find out what was really in his heart.

Another sad love story..
taken from Friendster bulletin..

Message:
3 friends Eric, Cathlyn, Carol.
Eric was chased by all the girls in our high school.
Cathlyn was one of those popular girls. Cheerleader, sexy, and stylish
Carol was just one of those plain and average girls.

Cathlyn and Carol were both totally crazy and wacko over Eric.
Cathlyn didn't have to do anything to attract Eric.
For she was already attractive enough.
Carol on the other hand, showered Eric which love and care.

Carol wasn't ugly at all.
In fact, she looked sweet and pleasant.
But she wasn't a cheerleader, she didn't were spaghetti-straps or tubes.
So like everyone expected, Eric chose Cathlyn.

For Carol was just one ordinary and plain girl.
While Cathlyn was labeled as the cool and attractive type,
Eric always insulted Carol.
Telling her what a 'Plain Jane' she was and how dumb she looked.
Which obviously made Carol feel so hurt and useless.

That's life.

Carol never gave up though.
She wanted to prove something to Eric.
She wanted to prove that looks aren't everything.
She studied hard, really hard.
She became the top girl, and all the guys who once ignored her, chased her.

But she never forgot Eric.
Everyday, she put a red rose in Eric's locker.
Always with the same words.
'I care for you, and I always will'.
Because she knew that Eric was facing a hard time.

Eric began to realise how dumb he had been.
His beloved girlfriend, Cathlyn was flirting with other guys.
He regretted for choosing the wrong girl.
Cathlyn broke up with Eric later.

For she had found a wealthier guy.
Eric felt so cheated, stupid and dumb.
He went to look for Carol.
He knelt on his knees, and said
"Carol, please forgive me. Do you want to be my girlfriend?"

Carol rejected him, much to everyone's surprise.
She only uttered these words
"You've suffered a great loss, so I don't want you to face another one".

Eric felt disappointed.
He didn't understand a word that she said to him.
But they became good friends.
Did everything together.

Eric began to change into someone better.
Because Carol showered him with the love he never experienced before.
His ex-girlfriends had never treated him that way.

They just accepted him for his looks.
But Carol accepted him for himself.
She changed him.
Carol continued putting a red rose into his locker everyday.

With the same words.
She never forgot.

One day, Carol didn't turn up in school.
She didn't come for a week
At first, Eric thought that she was on a vacation with her family.
Because she told him that she would be going Hawaii with them.

But one day,
He received a call from the General Hospital.
Saying that Carol was about to die.
She had been suffering from cancer.
But Carol forbade them from telling him.

Because she didn't want Eric to worry about her.
But now that she was about to die.
She wanted to see Eric for the last time.

Eric rushed to the hospital.
When he saw how weak Carol was.
Tears began rushing down his cheeks.

He whispered
"Why didn't you tell me earlier? Why did you hide this from me?"
She looked at him And smiled weakly at him.

"When I said that I didn't want you to suffer from facing another loss,I meant this. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to worry.
I wanted to spend my last days with you cheerfully."

Eric looked at her
"You can't leave me!" he said
"What will I be without you?"
"You'll be who you are now. I will always be there by your side. Never forget that. Cherish those times. Live life happily. And one more thing."

"Yes?"

"I love you"

And she died.
Eric screamed.
He still couldn't accept Carol's death.
He had only spent a month with Carol.

A month.
But Carol changed his life in a way.
A way that no one could ever explain.
He regretted.
But he knew that Carol would always be keeping an eye on him from Heaven.

Sometimes,
We just don't appreciate those people who really care for us,
Until they leave us
Until we lose them.

Then we regret.
Outer beauty doesn't matter; it's the inner one that counts.
It's better to tell someone how much you love them.
Rather than to not tell them and lose them without telling them.

You'll regret.

Love is.
When we fight till the very last minute,
Just to show and tell someone how much we love them.

Keep On Singing

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling.
They find out that the new baby is going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sings to his sister in Mommy's tummy.

The pregnancy progresses normally for Karen, an active member of the Panther Creek United Methodist Church in Morristown,Tennessee.
Then the labor pains come.
Every five minutes every minute.
But complications arise during delivery.
Hours of labor.
Would a C-section be required?

Finally, Michael's little sister is born.
But she is in serious condition.
With siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushes the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee.
The days inch by.
The little girl gets worse.
The pediatric specialist tells the parents, "There is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst."

Karen and her husband contact a local cemetery about a burial plot.
They have fixed up a special room in their home for the new baby - now they plan a funeral.

Michael, keeps begging his parents to let him see his sister,
"I want to sing to her," he says.

Week two in intensive care.
It looks as if a funeral will come before the week is over.
Michael keeps nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care.
But Karen makes up her mind.
She will take Michael whether they like it or not.
If he doesn't see his sister now, he may never see her alive.

She dresses him in an oversized scrub suit and marches him into ICU.
He looks like a walking laundry basket, but the head nurse recognizes him as a child and bellows, "Get that kid out of here now! No children are allowed.

The mother rises up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glares steel-eyed into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line.
"He is not leaving until he sings to his sister!"
Karen tows Michael to his sister's bedside.
He gazes at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. And he begins to sing.

In the pure hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sings:
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray --- "

Instantly the baby girl responds.
The pulse rate becomes calm and steady.

Keep on singing, Michael.

"You never know, dear, how much I love you, Please don't take my sunshine away---"

The ragged, strained breathing becomes as smooth as a kitten's purr.
Keep on singing, Michael.

"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms..."

Michael's little sister relaxes as rest, healing rest, seems to sweep over her.
Keep on singing, Michael.
Tears conquer the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glows.

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't, take my sunshine away."

Funeral plans are scrapped.
The next, day-the very next day-the little girl is well enough to go home!

Woman's Day magazine called it "the miracle of a brother's song."
The medical staff just called it a miracle.

Karen called it a miracle of God's love!

Never Give Up On The People You Love

P.S. Got tis from xDiorAngelx, thx huiling.. ;)

5 GOLDEN RULES FOR FINDING YOUR LIFE PARTNER
(by Rabbi Dov Heller,M.A.)

A relationship coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success.
When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake.

Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr/Ms Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: "We're in love."

I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.
Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone).
Though this may sound not politically correct, there's a profound truth here.

Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married.
Rather, love is the result of a good marriage.
When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come.

Let me say it again:
You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone.
You need a lot more.

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:
Do we share a common life purpose?
Why is this so important?
Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone.
What do you plan to do with each other all that time?
Travel, eat and jog together?

You need to share something deeper and more meaningful.
You need a common life purpose.
Two things can happen in a marriage.
You can grow together, or you can grow apart.
50 percent of the people out there are growing apart.
To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life - bottom line - and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person? This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person.
The basis of having good communication is trust!
i.e. trust that I won't get "punished" or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.

A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings.
Be honest with yourself on this one.
Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:
Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.
How can you test?

Here are some suggestions.
1. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?

2. Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as "someone who is always striving to be good and do the right thing".
"So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?"
Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.
You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give.
By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.
Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following:

1. How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?

2. How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?

3. Do they show respect? If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they'll have gratitude for you - who can't do nearly as much for them!

4. Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:
Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to "improve" them after they're married.

As a colleague of mine puts it, "You can probably expect someone to change after marriage ... for the worse!"
If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.
In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous.
The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart.
It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating, to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself in trouble because you didn't do your homework.

HOW WILL I KNOW IF I'VE MET THE PERSON I SHOULD MARRY?

The choice of a marriage partner should not be based on "I get a warm, wonderful feeling whenever we're together and I want to have that warm wonderful feeling forever, so let's go get married".
Feelings, as we have discussed, have no logic on their own.
They need to be acknowledged, of course, but they need considerable assistance from your brain.

Marriage means choosing the person you will spend the rest of your life with.
This, as you may have guessed, is a very long time to spend with one person.
This person will live with you, eat meals with you, sleep with you and go on vacation with you.
More important yet, this person will share your children.

You need to choose wisely.
The decision should not be made based on feelings alone.
You need to ask yourself some tough questions.
The decisions have to be made on solid considerations.

Will this person be a good partner?
Is she mature enough to put her own selfish desires aside to look out for what is best for the family?
Is he prepared to be a good provider?
What is his track record? Is he responsible enough to get a good job and keep it?
Will this person be a good parent?
Can you stand the thought of your children turning out exactly like this person?

They will, you know.
Children spend a lot of time with their parents and consequently pick up many or most of their parents' character traits.
You had better like your spouse's traits a lot because you will be seeing them again in your children.

If something were to happen to you, would you completely trust this person, alone, with the task of raising and forming your children?
This is not a pleasant thought, but it is an important consideration. Not everyone dies at a ripe old age with great grandchildren gathered around the bed.
Sometimes a parent dies and leaves young children in the care of the other parent.

If you feel that you would need to be around to correct or lessen this person's influence on your children, then you are considering the wrong person.
Does this person share your faith in God?
God does not give us children so that we can mould them into the coolest, most popular people in school.
Our job is to get them to heaven.

To do that, we need to raise them believing in God.
It is tough to do that if only one parent believes.
Saying "This is right and that is wrong, and I want you to ignore Mommy until you are thirty-five" does not work.

Small children ask about eight million questions in a single day.
The answers to those questions go a long way toward forming the kind of adults they will become.

Who will be answering those questions for your children?
Does this person you are marrying have sexual self-control?
Single people sometimes have this idea that marriage is just some kind of lifelong sex festival and that as long as they have each other, they will never be tempted by other people.

Wrong! There are many times in every marriage when one partner or the other is sexually unavailable - illness, the last months of pregnancy, travel.

There are also times when spouses, just get on each others' nerves.
At times like this, other people can seem very appealing.
That can be dangerous, because there are plenty of very attractive people out there who are willing to make themselves available to married men and women.

Do you want someone who has never said "no" to sex?
If he is not good at saying "no" at eighteen, it won't be different at forty.
Do you want to worry about whether or not your Spouse is being faithful?

These are very important questions, and if you are not comfortable with all of the answers, you should definitely not marry this person.
None if this is to say that feelings play no role at all in a marriage decision.

You don't have to, "Well, I suppose that you would make a good spouse and parent, so even though I don't particularly like you I guess I'll marry you'.

You need to be happy and excited about the prospect of spending your life with someone.
Your brain however must acknowledge that this person as a good choice. Don't listen to your heart alone or your head alone.
Wait until your heart and head agree.

Always Listening...
Always Understanding....